Shattered Trust
by Sterling Dragonfly
Summary: Two years after fleeing England when his world collapsed around him, Harry decides to take his life back. HarrySeverus SLASH
1. Prologue

Prologue 

_The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council._

Homer–'The Iliad'

Early July, 2001 

The tall, elegant man entered the room tentatively, unsure of what his reception would be. He knew the news he brought would not be well received, and dreaded the upcoming interview with his Master. He paused for a moment, took a deep breath and approached the throne sitting in the center of the damp area, kneeling before the Dark Lord.

"Luciusss, my faithful ssservant, is everything sset for tonight?" Voldemort hissed at the blond man before him.

"Yes, my Lord, the plan will be carried out just as you ordered. Your followers are amassed just outside the village, and will attack at midnight."

"Ex-sssellent. Any word on the other isssssue yet?"

Lucius Malfoy cringed inwardly as he replied, "No, my Lord. We have agents placed throughout the world, however we have not had any success in picking up a trail." He knew that the Dark Lord did not tolerate failure and mentally prepared himself for what would happen next.

_"Crucio."_

"…of whom only three survived." Minerva finished reading the Auror's report about the latest Death Eater attack, and then set it aside. "Albus, we _must_ find a way to stop these attacks. Things are getting worse as each day goes by."

Albus Dumbledore paused for a moment before saying, "Severus, have you anything to report?" The Headmaster glanced at his Potions Master, who was presently gazing out of the dark window in the kitchen of No. 12 Grimmauld Place.

"No. The Dark Lord has not seen fit to call me for several weeks now. I've heard nothing about these newest assaults." Snape answered flatly, as his continued to stare into the night, absently fingering a gold ring on his hand.

Tired blue eyes examined the dark-haired wizard, dimming with sadness. The war had taken its toll on so many people; however some were dealing with more pain than others. During the past couple of years, Severus had thrown himself into his work for the Order, volunteering for more and more dangerous missions as time progressed. Albus was worried that his friend was about to break.

Kingsley Shacklebolt cleared his throat then stated, "At this point in time, we should probably suspect that Severus' cover is blown. There have been too many attacks that he was not aware of not to believe that." Kingsley looked over at Snape and smiled gloomily. "You should lay low for a while. You are too valuable to the Order to keep risking you life right now."

Snape looked over at Kingsley with scorn, then slowly gazed at each member of the Order seated around the table. "My life is mine to do with as I will. My value as a spy is not limited to the information I gather at the Death Eater meetings. I will continue to do my job as I feel necessary."

"You cannot win this war by yourself, Severus." Arthur Weasley reached over and grasped the dark-haired man on the shoulder. "The truth is, right now the war is impossible to win without…" His words dwindled away at the look in Snape's eyes.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the gathered compatriots as each thought of what was missing. The silence was finally broken when Molly Weasley sighed, as she looked around the room, asking the question on everyone's mind, "Albus has there been any news yet? Any sightings? _Anything?_"

No one questioned her meaning as Albus shifted in his seat. "Unfortunately not, my dear. Every lead has fizzled out; every owl has returned unanswered. I'm very much afraid that we must simply continue on our present course."

"Bloody hell, Albus. The war is escalating–The Dark Lord and his cohorts rampage seemingly unchecked, yet here we sit, drinking tea and _chatting_." Severus jumped up from his chair and began pacing. As he passed the kitchen table, he glanced down, then stilled. After a brief moment, he swirled and slammed out of the door.

Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin looked at the closed door, then at each other. "Bugger it anyhow. I thought things were better now. What set him off this time?" Lupin growled at Tonks, who smiled sadly and gestured at the table.

Remus looked over and saw a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ lying open, headline screaming Death Eater Attacks Escalate! Where is the Wizarding World's Hope–Where is Harry Potter?

Bugger indeed.

Harry Potter was missing, and no one, not even Albus Dumbledore, knew where he was.


	2. Contented

**Contented**

_In Solitude _

_What happiness, who can enjoy alone,_

_Or all enjoying, what contentment find?_

John Milton—'Paradise Lost'

July 31, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

An obnoxious sound filled the bedroom, disturbing the slumbering figure on the bed. Emerald eyes fluttered then squinted against the sunlight pouring in through the open curtains as the young man fumbled on his bedside table for the ringing phone. "'Ello?"

"Happy birthday, sleepyhead!" a cheerful voice answered the drowsy question. "Let me guess, I just woke you up?"

Harry laughed softly as he flopped back onto the bed. "Course you did, Robin. What time is it, anyway?" He squinted at the clock and groaned when he saw that it was close to ten.

"Time for you to get your lazy butt out of bed and get ready for the best birthday you've ever had! There is a certain young lady here who is anxious to see you." Robin teased lightly.

Harry smiled, "Oh, is she indeed? Well, give me thirty minutes to get ready, then come on over, 'kay?"

"Sure, sweetie. See you soon."

Harry hung up the phone, grabbed his glasses and put them on. Standing up, he stretched and groaned as several places in his back cracked. "Damn, must be getting old!" he mocked to himself as he headed into the bathroom.

Twenty-five minutes later, freshly showered and shaved, he was finishing the buttons on his shirt when a muted knock was heard at the door. Quickly tucking his shirt into the band of his jeans, he went to the door and opened it.

"Daddy, 'appy birfday!" A tiny child launched herself at Harry, who barely caught her in time. "Robbie and me 'ave sometin' for you."

Hugging his daughter close, he said, "Dria, I missed you baby. Give daddy a kiss?"

After receiving a few sloppy baby kisses, he placed Dria in her playpen in the living room and turned to the young woman standing in the doorway. "Thanks Robin, for watching Dria last night. I'm not sure I would have made it without your help." Gesturing towards the living room, he asked, "Do you want some breakfast? I was about to cook up some eggs and toast."

"Eggs sound good—scrambled, please. Mike will be over in a minute, if you wouldn't mind making a bit extra." Robin Davenport, a tall, willowy blond, moved towards the couch.

"No problem. So, what's the plan for today?" Harry began moving around his kitchen, pulling eggs, milk and butter from the refrigerator. He quickly mixed up the eggs, added some seasoning and poured the mixture into a frying pan. As the eggs cooked, he fixed some toast and put some milk into a sippy cup for Dria. Placing the food onto the table, he went to fetch the baby.

"Just the barbeque this afternoon." Robin got up and began setting the table for the meal. "By the way, how did the show go last night?"

"Great. I sold one piece and had several people interested in others. The owner of the gallery was quite enthusiastic about the turnout." Harry smiled at his friend as he placed the baby in her high chair. He handed her a spoon, a plate of eggs and her sippy cup, then dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

Robin smiled happily, "How wonderful, Harry! I'm not surprised, though. Your artwork is truly amazing. The imagination you put into it is truly incredible."

Harry grinned at his friend's fervor. Little did she know that his sketches and paintings weren't from his imagination—but were based on the world in which he had grown up. Wizards and witches, castles and flying brooms inhabited his canvases, appealing to the muggle public as fantasy works of art.

After Harry had fled Hogwarts and Britain, he found himself in New York City, where there was a large wizarding population. Three months pregnant, he had sought out the best mediwizard possible. Fortunately, he was young and in excellent physical condition, due to his years of Quidditch playing, as well as the additional training he had received in the fight against Voldemort, so there had been no complications during the pregnancy.

After staying in a hotel for a couple of weeks, he had found a small studio apartment in the city. Not wanting word of his whereabouts to get back to Hogwarts, he kept mostly to himself. He lived off his savings until his daughter was born and spent most of his free time immersed in his art.

Upon the arrival of his daughter, Harry had packed up his small family and moved to a relatively unpopulated beach town in the southeastern United States. There he purchased a two-bedroom condo, with a wonderful view of the ocean, all the modern conveniences that muggle technology could provide, and a large sun-filled room that served as his studio.

Robin Davenport and Michael Fitzsimmons, his new neighbors, came over the day he moved in and introduced themselves. The young couple quickly became a daily fixture in the lives of both Harry and baby Dria. Both loved to watch Dria, and as Harry's career as an artist blossomed, he found himself leaving her with them at least once a month. Last night was a perfect example.

A last minute phone call a week earlier from a local gallery had had Harry scrambling to collect his artwork together. The previous evening Harry had attended the show, where he was one of the featured artists. As he had told Robin, he had sold one piece outright, and had lined up enough commissions to keep himself busy for several months.

A knock on the door brought him from his thoughts. "That must be your boyfriend. He always shows up when the food is ready!" Harry laughed as he made his way to the door. "Good morning, Mike. You're just in time. Breakfast is on the table."

"Morning, Harry. Ready for the party this afternoon?" The tall stocky man smiled at Harry, then walked over to Robin and gave her a quick kiss. He turned to the toddler, who was busy smearing eggs into her hair. "Morning, Miss Dria. Don't you look a sight?"

"Hi, 'ikey. I eatin' eggers."

"Yes, I can see that." Mike smiled at the little girl as he pulled out an empty chair and sat down at the dining room table.

"I'm looking forward to the barbeque. It's been a stressful week getting ready for the show. I'm going to enjoy a little down time." Harry calmly began cleaning up the mess Dria had made. "So, who is coming?"

"Mike's sister Marie and her family, Robert, Thom and Julia from the gallery and best of all, my big brother Joshua. He's been in Europe for the past year and I'm anxious to have him home for a while," Robin gushed. "He got back in town yesterday and promised me he would come today."

Smiling at the excited young woman, Harry replied, "I'm looking forward to meeting him then, since you think he's so great. If you don't mind me asking, what was he doing in Europe for so long?"

"He works for the U.S. government as some sort of diplomat. I'm not sure what he does though—he's not allowed to talk about it. He says we wouldn't believe him even if he did tell us." Robin started giggling, "Mom, Dad and I figure he's some sort of undercover agent—like James Bond. Too bad he doesn't have all the cool gadgets though." She gave Harry a sideways look and added, "There is one way he's not like Bond—he's not interested in the ladies."

Harry held up a hand and warned, "Robin, please remember—no matchmaking." In the year and a half they had known each other, Robin had introduced him to probably a dozen different men. She was continuously disappointed when Harry showed no interest in any of them.

The blond woman grinned unrepentantly and retorted, "Hey, you can't blame a girl for trying. I don't understand why a guy as wonderful as you would want to be alone. One of these days…" The friends laughed as Harry shook his head in mock exasperation.

"You keep trying, sweetie."

The three adults continued to discuss the afternoon get-together until they were finished eating. Harry stood up and began clearing the table, then noticed Dria was yawning widely. He looked at Robin in surprise when she started laughing.

"Poor little one! She was so excited about making your birthday present last night that she didn't get to sleep until late. Then the silly thing woke up at the crack of dawn, ready to come over and give you your gift. I had a difficult time convincing her to wait until this afternoon."

"Well, I guess a quick clean up and a nap are in order. We will see you down at the beach pavilion around three, okay?" Harry picked Dria up and headed for the bathroom. "Later, guys."

Harry heard the front door close as he started to remove Dria's clothes. "Goodness, baby girl, did you get any food in your tummy, or just all over you? Alright, into the bath with you."

"Bubbles daddy, peaz?" Dria giggled as Harry added some bubble bath to the water. She began splashing both hands into the frothy bubbles until Harry began washing her hair. "Yucky, daddy!" She tried to duck her father's hand, but he held her still in the tub.

"Sorry, baby. I've gotta do it. We don't want dried eggs in your beautiful curls, now do we?" Harry quickly rinsed her hair, then reached for a towel. "Time to get out and take a nap before the party, sweet pea." He removed her from the tub, wrapped her small body in the towel and reached over to drain the bathwater.

The young wizard carried Dria over to the changing table, dried her off and dressed her in a diaper and a tee shirt. He gently placed her in her crib, where she began rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Night, night, daddy."

He pulled a blanket up over her and whispered, "Sweet dreams, baby girl. I love you." Harry turned off the lights and switched on the radio. As a lullaby softly played, he watched as Dria popped her thumb in her mouth and quickly fell asleep. Gazing down at his daughter, he felt his heart clench. As Dria grew from a baby into a toddler, she looked more and more like her father. Her other father—the same man who had broken Harry's heart. The Hogwarts Potion Master, Severus Snape.

He quietly left the nursery and walked into the living room where he flopped onto the couch. He reached towards a side table, opened the drawer and removed a photo album, which he began flipping through. Soon he was caught up in thoughts of the past.

When Snape refused to continue Harry's training after the pensieve incident in Harry's fifth year, Albus Dumbledore had taken over teaching Harry Occlumency during his sixth and seventh year. However, as Death Eater activities increased during the fall of Harry's seventh year, he had insisted to both Harry and Severus that it was imperative that Snape once again begin training the young Gryffindor. After several heated discussions, Snape had reluctantly agreed, teaching not only Occlumency, but also the Dark Arts, as well as some martial arts. It was during the physical training that Harry and Snape's relationship began to change.

In the spring, the training had become extremely intense and as the days progressed, Harry became more and more aware of the Potion Master's physical presence. He quickly became frustrated with the conflicted emotions he had about the professor. One day, after a particularly brutal duel, Harry's patience had run out.

"My goodness, Mr. Potter, is _this_ the best you can do? I have no idea how _anyone_ expects you to defeat the Dark Lord. You're too busy dealing with your adoring public to be serious about your role in the war. How like your father you are. He was always obsessed with his popularity, as well.

"God_damnit_, Snape. When will you realize my name is _Harry_, not James? You have _no_ reason to hate me, although I admit you have sufficient reason to hate my father."

Snape snarled at Harry, "Come on, Potter. Like father, like son. Arrogant, attention-seeking little pricks…"

Harry stopped thinking and just acted. Balling his right hand into a fist, he took a swing at Snape's jaw. However, the punch failed to make contact when Snape caught his hand and jerked Harry's smaller body flush with his own.

Shocked green eyes looked up into obsidian ones. Harry quickly realized that Snape was as affected by him as he was Snape—the physical evidence was irrefutable. His breath caught as he took in the blaze of lust on Snape's face, then he completely forgot to breathe as his mouth was captured in a devouring kiss.

"Harry…" Severus groaned as he pulled the young Gryffindor into a fierce embrace. "Merlin, you're so… I want…" Severus didn't complete his sentence; he just attacked Harry's slender body. Hands roamed down a muscular back, sliding under the green-eyed wizard's tee shirt and suddenly jerked it over his head.

Harry stood there, momentarily confused by what had just happened. He blinked up at the other man, then realizing what the kiss meant, slowly began to smile. He stepped closer to the warm body in front of him. Slowly unbuttoning the dull black buttons on Severus' dueling robes, he pressed wet kisses on each delicious inch of skin as it was revealed.

Severus pulled back slightly and breathlessly asked, "Harry, are you sure?"

Harry reached up, nipping at Severus' earlobe as he whispered, "Oh _yeah_. Can we move this to somewhere a bit more private?" The only response he received was to be pulled from the room and along dark passageways to the Potion Master's private chambers.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Severus found himself pinned to the wall. Talented fingers skimmed lightly over his chest as a warm mouth latched onto a nipple. His body arched into the sensation as Harry suckled him.

Harry peeked up at Severus through his eyelashes and said, "Relax, Severus and enjoy. I've wanted to do this for _so_ long." He slowly lowered himself to his knees, dropping wispy kisses against the taut stomach until Severus groaned. Holding the man's hips to steady him, he slowly dragged his tongue in circles around it as he fumbled at the buttons on Severus' trousers. He drew in a deep breath as Severus' fully erect cock appeared, then suddenly took it deep into his mouth. He pulled back slowly, running his tongue along the bottom of the full member until he reached the mushroom-shaped head. His tongue swirled in lazy circles around the slit, lapping up the beads of pre-cum as he reached up and began to caress Severus' balls.

Severus was grateful for the wall behind his back—he wasn't sure his knees would continue to support him. His senses were on overload—he was amazed at the sensations the young man's clever mouth was drawing from him. He looked down and watched as Harry's head bobbed up and down along his erection. Gasping when Harry increased the pressure the head, he reached down and entwined his fingers in the raven locks and moaned, "Merlin, Harry. I'm gonna… HARRY!"

Harry held the jerking hips below his hands firmly as Severus found his release, swallowing all of the other man's essence. Finally he slid the softened cock from his mouth and stood up, capturing the narrow lips with his own and whispered, "I want you to fuck me."

The Potions Master growled and swept the young man up in his arm, heading for the bedroom. Dropping him onto the soft mattress, he frantically removed his clothes, then reached over and undid Harry's jeans, pulling them down his slim hips and tossed them to the side. He slowly crawled up the slim body and pressed down, aligning their erections together, and captured Harry's full pouty lips with his own.

Harry moaned softly. He wanted more—he wanted everything this man could offer. He gasped out, "Severus, fuck… please—more… fuck me…"

"Gladly." Severus began kissing Harry, caressing the smooth silky skin. Their frenzied kisses soon progressed to more, as they each frantically pulled the other, trying to get as close as possible. Skin rubbed against skin as Severus entered Harry, both men were gasping with need.

His head moving from side to side, Harry was almost incoherent with lust. As Severus pumped his hips harder and harder, he felt his world spin out of control. His last clear thought as he reached his orgasm was how perfect this was, how perfect Severus was.

Their relationship had rapidly progressed from there. Harry began Auror training in London immediately after graduation, and had apparated back to Hogwarts every evening to be with Severus.

On Harry's eighteenth birthday, Severus had taken him to a restaurant in muggle London. After dinner, they had gone dancing at a local club then apparated home. As they walked towards Hogwarts, Severus had stopped and pulled Harry close to him.

"Harry, love, I hope you have had a good birthday so far." Severus smiled down at the younger man.

"Never have had a better one, Sev. I've had a really great time today. Thank you for everything." Harry's eyes glowed as he looked up into the face of the man he loved.

"I haven't given you your present yet. I was going to wait, but…" Severus appeared nervous as he pulled a small package from a pocket in his robe.

Harry gently kissed the hesitant face of his lover as he took the box from Severus' outstretched hand. He opened it then looked up in surprise. "Severus, does this mean…"

"Harry, the past months that we have been together have been the happiest of my life. Would you please honor me and consent to becoming my husband?"

"Oh, yes, Severus. I love you so much. This time has meant the world to me as well. Yes, I'll marry you." Laughing with joy, Harry flung himself into the arms of the other man, who caught him, swinging him around and fervently kissed him.

The two wizards kept the news of their engagement secret in deference to Severus' position as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. They were quietly married that fall in the presence of a few close friends. Albus Dumbledore had performed the ceremony. Harry asked Ron and Hermione to stand as his witnesses, while Minerva McGonagall and Remus Lupin served as Severus'. The wedding had taken place at midnight in the garden of the small cottage Harry and Severus had purchased in the countryside near Hogsmeade.

For the first year of their marriage, Harry was happier than he ever been in his young life. He had finished his Auror training in record time and had gone to work for the Ministry of Magic in London. However, on his first wedding anniversary, his world came crashing down around his ears.

As he neared the end of the photo album, Harry could no longer contain his tears. Curling up on the couch, he quietly cried until exhaustion pulled him under and he slept.

July 31, 2001—Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Severus Snape apparated near Hogwarts and wearily made his way towards the castle. As he neared the entrance, the front doors flew open and Hagrid stepped out.

"Gracious, Severus, ye look a right mess. Do ye be needin' to see Poppy?" The half-giant groundskeeper looked on in concern as Snape slowly walked up the front steps.

"No thank you, Rubeus. I will attend to my injuries myself. They're not as serious as they appear. Do you know where Albus is? I have some information he might find useful."

"Last I saw, he was in Minerva's office." Hagrid looked at the Potions Master hopefully, "Ye say ye have information—is it about 'arry? Ye know, today's 'is birth…" His voice died out as he caught sight of the menacing glare the other man was sending his way.

"I'm fully aware of what today is, Hagrid, you don't have to remind me. The information I have does not pertain to my missing husband, so if you will please excuse me?" Severus walked stiffly through the open doors and made his way to his rooms deep in the Slytherin dungeons.

After entering his chambers, he crossed the sitting room and opened the door to his bedroom. Severus began removing his robes as he walked towards the bed. He looked longingly at the soft pillows propped up against the headboard, but decided he needed to heal himself and take a shower before he could rest.

Snape grimaced at the sight of his ruined white linen shirt, torn and streaked with dried blood. Standing in front of the mirror, he realized, "Damn, this is going to stick to the wound." Removing his other clothing, he stepped over to the shower and adjusted the water to a temperature he could tolerate.

Severus moved under the water, feeling the tension in his body leave as the warmth invaded his muscles. He unbuttoned his shirt and slowly peeled it away from the knife wound, then tossed it into the sink to be discarded later. As he relaxed in the pulsing water, his thoughts wandered to his missing lover and the last birthday they had celebrated together.

On the morning of Harry's nineteenth birthday, they had eaten breakfast together, then Harry prepared to go to work. He came back into the kitchen, grabbed an apple and kissed Severus on top of the head. "See you tonight, Sev. Remember, we're supposed to go to the Burrow this evening for dinner."

"I have a few errands to run today, but I should be back in plenty of time." Severus laughed up at the younger man. "You had better get going, or you'll be late—again."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Love you." With a wave, Harry hurried outside, where he apparated to the Ministry.

Severus cleaned up the breakfast dishes, then made his way into the glass-enclosed porch where their owls were currently roosting. "Good morning, ladies. Time for you two to be off." He opened the window, then spoke to Hedwig, who blinked sleepily up at him. "You're to go to the Burrow, Hedwig. Remember, don't return here for three days." The snowy owl gave a soft hoot, then spread her wings and took off out the window.

"Circe, I have a note for you to deliver to Kingsley Shacklebolt, then I want you to go to Hogwarts and find Hagrid. Stay there until I come for you." Snape attached a note to the outstretched leg, then watched his small black owl as she flew away.

Snape continued to watch the owl until she was no more than a speck in the sky, then he turned and went back into the cottage. Entering their bedroom, he went to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black silk shirt. After changing, he retrieved the luggage from the bottom of the wardrobe where he had hidden it the previous evening, shrank it and stowed it away in his pocket. He left the cottage, making sure that the wards were set properly and apparated away.

Harry had spent a busy morning at the office. He was neck deep in paperwork, which he hated. Scowling down at the folder in front of him, he didn't hear the door to his office open. He jumped in surprise when arms snaked around his waist. Looking up, he was astonished to see his husband smirking down at him.

"Really, Harry. That poor piece of paper hasn't done anything to deserve the look you were giving it."

"Sev, is everything okay? I didn't expect to see you until tonight."

"Hmm, can't a man show up to take his husband out to lunch without something being wrong? Now, hurry up. I've made reservations, and I don't want to be late."

"Where are you taking me?" Harry asked excitedly as he cleared his desk and picked up his outer robe. "And why are you dressed in muggle clothes?"

"Ah, patience, young one. You need to change into these." Severus handed Harry the muggle clothes he had brought from the cottage. "Hurry up. I made arrangements for a portkey, so we need to get moving."

Harry hurried out of his office and found a nearby bathroom, where he quickly changed. He was surprised by his mate's actions. Severus was not normally open with his affections, so today's appearance was a bit out of character.

Harry looked in the mirror as he gathered his things and smiled. He husband had brought a dark green silk tee shirt and black leather pants for him to wear. The shirt brought out the sparkle in his eyes while the skintight pants showed off his other 'assets'. He quickly left the bathroom, anxious to see Severus' reaction to his appearance. He wasn't disappointed.

"Gods, Harry, I'm not sure I'm going to let you out in public looking like that. You look like a walking advertisement for sex!" Severus' eyes darkened to an intense black as he eyed his young spouse. "I think I should take you home and never let you out of the bedroom again."

Harry smirked at the Potions Master as he evaded the hands that were reaching for him. "Uh uh, Sev. You promised me food, now pay up before I die of hunger."

"Here, then, let's go." Severus pulled what looked like an old lady's glove from his pocket. "Take hold of this, then I'll activate the portkey." As Harry drew nearer and touched the glove, Severus wrapped his free arm around the lithe body of his lover and touched his wand to the glove. Harry felt the familiar pull in his stomach as his office suddenly disappeared.

Severus looked on in amusement as Harry stumbled when they reappeared at their destination. "Really, Harry, one would think you would be more coordinated, considering your Quidditch playing and your Auror training."

Harry stuck his tongue out at his spouse, saying, "Quiet, you git. Those stupid portkeys always make me dizzy—it has nothing to do with my coordination. Now, where the hell are we?" He looked around in amazement at the scenery around them.

"Hmm, I thought you would enjoy a few days away from everything. This is my cousin's cabin; he's letting us use it for the next three days. Your boss and the Weasleys have been notified that we're to be left alone and they're expecting us back then. Happy Birthday, love." Severus gently took Harry's arm and drew him up close to his body. "I'm looking forward to your undivided attention—no work, no friends, no interruptions whatsoever."

"What_ever_ shall we do for three whole days?" Harry gave the other man an evil grin, then broke away and began rapidly striding up the path towards the cabin. He turned around and continued to walk backwards as he called out, "Come on, lover. Get your skinny arse in here!" Laughing at the look on Severus' face, he whirled and ran into the cabin.

Severus laughed as he chased after Harry, finally catching him in the doorway of the bedroom. He scooped the younger man up in his arms, dropping him on the bed and began to tickle him.

"Take that back, you little beast. I do _not_ have a skinny ass."

Harry was laughing so hard he could barely get out, "You're right, it's not skinny, it's _scrawny_!"

Severus pinned the smaller man down on the bed with the full weight of his body, holding Harry's wrists above his head with one hand. He slowly ran his hand down the side of the writhing body below him, growling softly, "I'm sure I can convince you otherwise."

Harry felt he was slowly losing his mind as Severus licked and nipped his way down Harry's supple neck. He arched upwards into the hard body above him when Severus bit down on his nipple, panting, "Goddess, Sev… that feels sooo… don't stop…"

"So tell me, love, what you think of my ass now?" Severus smirked down into the passion-filled face of his spouse as he tweaked his abused nipple.

"Umm, I don't… maybe it's not… so scrawny after all." As Severus reached down and released Harry's straining erection from his jeans he gasped, "On second thought, it's probably… no, definitely… perfect. FUCK"

"Your wish is my command, my impatient little snakeling." The two men began the dance of love they had come to know so well, each reveling in the sensations the other extracted from them. Gasping out their completion, the two lovers collapsed together, wrapped securely in the other's arms.

The pair spent the following days relaxing. Harry had convinced Severus to swim with him in the pond and they whiled away the afternoons lounging on the small beach near the cabin. In the evenings, they curled up in front of the fireplace, whispering plans for their future together.

They had reluctantly returned to their regular lives at the end of their idyllic stay, unaware that in only three months, they would be viciously torn apart, their lives together destroyed.

As the water turned cold, Severus' thoughts returned to the present. He turned off the water, dried himself off and applied a healing salve to his wound. He quickly dressed in his usual black robes, knowing he needed to speak with the Headmaster as soon as possible. Leaving his rooms, he resolved to put thoughts of Harry aside for now, realizing there were more immediate problems that needed solving.

July 31, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

Harry woke up with a start. Sitting up, he slid his glasses back up his nose and frantically looked at the clock. He relaxed a bit when he realized he had only been asleep for an hour or so—Dria hadn't woke up yet and they hadn't missed the party after all.

He slowly picked up the photo album from where it had fallen on the floor and ran his fingers gently over the front. So many memories were contained within the covers—both good and bad. He was finally beginning to let go of his pain—he knew it was time to move on with his life. As he placed the album back into the side table drawer, a glint of silver caught his eye.

Harry leaned back on the couch, undecided for a few moments, before he resolutely removed his wedding ring. He laid the ring on his knee as he reached up and unclasped a chain from around his neck.

Furiously blinking away the tears that threatened to spill again, he gazed down at the pendant in his hands. The platinum snake pendant had been the last present Severus had given him—on his nineteenth birthday. Harry smiled sadly as he remembered Severus comparing the emerald stones in the snake's eyes to Harry's own eyes, saying that the precious gems could only attempt to be as bright as the sparkles contained in the green orbs of his spouse.

Harry realized that while he was ready to stop wearing his wedding ring on his hand, he wasn't completely ready to put away the reminders of his husband. The emerald snake eyes glittered up at him as he slid his wedding ring onto the chain. Quickly reaching up before he could change his mind, he replaced the necklace around his throat.

He would get through this, one step at a time.

Even if they were only baby steps.


	3. False Sense Of Security

False Sense Of Security

July 31, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

Harry rushed around the condo, collecting the things he needed to take to the party. He gathered them near the front door then smiled ruefully at the large pile. He had no idea how he was going to get it all, plus himself and Dria, down to the beach without making at least three trips. As he tried to pare the pile down, the doorbell rang.

"Daddy, ding."

Harry caught his daughter up in his arms as she toddled past him toward the door. "Shall we see who it is, baby?" Dria wriggled excitedly as they opened the door to find Robin and a man who _had_ to be her brother, they looked so much alike.

"Your work force has arrived!" Robin giggled when she spotted the stack near the door. She turned to the unknown man and said, "See, I _told_ you he would need help. He _always_ packs way too much junk."

"Thanks _sooo_ much for embarrassing me, Robin, especially in front of…" Harry raised his eyebrow at his friend, pointedly looking at the man beside her.

"Oops, sorry Harry. Harry Potter, I would like you to meet my big brother, Joshua. Josh, this is Harry."

"So, you're the famous Harry Potter," Joshua smiled as he extended his hand. He laughed at Harry's shocked expression and continued, "Robbie has talked of little else since I got home. She tells me you're an up and coming young artist."

Harry relaxed when he realized the exact meaning of Joshua's words. For a moment, he had flashed back to his youth, growing up under the constant attention of the wizarding world. He beamed up at the other man, eyeing him appreciatively.

Joshua Davenport stood well over six feet tall, towering over Harry by a half a head, at least. He had tousled blond hair and vivid blue eyes, which were presently returning the young wizard's interested look. He moved gracefully into the condo and looked about the living room. "Nice place." Turning back to the couple standing near the door, he smiled at Dria, who was peeking up at him from under her eyelashes. "And you must be Dria. Nice to meet you, pretty girl." He tweaked her chin and laughed when she buried her head into Harry's neck.

Robin smugly watched as the two men interacted. She had been certain they would hit it off immediately—she loved her brother and thought he could do no better than Harry. Reaching out for the baby, she said, "Here, let me take her. You two can carry down everything else."

"Bossy little thing, aren't you?" joked Harry as he grabbed the beach chairs, Dria's diaper bag and the portable playpen. Joshua slung a bag over his shoulder and picked up the cooler, then the two men meekly followed the ladies down to the beach.

"Harry, Dria and I are going to paddle around in the waves for a bit. Why don't you and Josh get to know each other?" Robin slathered the toddler's fair skin with sunscreen and carried her to the water's edge.

Joshua and Harry smirked at each other—the blonde woman couldn't have been more obvious in her matchmaking. Harry took a beer from the cooler and held it up, silently offering one to the young American. At Joshua's nod, he removed a second bottle and handed it to him. The men gravitated toward an empty picnic table near the edge of the pavilion.

"So Harry Potter, tell me something. How did the Boy-Who-Lived end up living as a muggle next door to my sister and her fiancé?" Joshua took a swig of his drink as he watched the green-eyed man's reaction.

Harry choked on his beer and barely managed to answer, "I… ah… I haven't the slightest idea what you mean." A frisson of dread shot up Harry's spine as he gazed wide-eyed at the other man.

Joshua leaned closer and stated _sotto voce_, "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." When Harry remained still, he sighed and continued, "I believe Robin told you I've been in Europe the past year? What she doesn't know is I was serving as our government's liaison to the British wizarding world. There's no way she would believe _that_. Anyway, I heard many tales about the Boy-Who-Lived."

He glanced at Harry, who was still looking nervous and added, "Everyone's worried about you, you know. I take it no one knows where you are?"

Harry stared down at his half-empty beer bottle and softly answered, "No. Things were… well, let's just say getting out of England was uppermost in my mind at the time—I didn't tell anyone where I was going at the time and… I never corrected the situation."

"What happened? Someone threaten you?"

Snorting derisively, Harry replied, "No, I could have handled _that_." He paused then looked up into Joshua's questioning eyes, "My fleeing Hogwarts and my life there was merely the reaction of a young boy who had his heart broken by the one person he trusted most in this world."

"Ah, relationship problems." Joshua nodded understandingly. "We've all been through those. My tragic romance was during college. Matthew and I dated from our freshman year—I thought we were going to be together forever. Well, forever lasted until he got a job offer in California. He packed up and was gone within a week, leaving me devastated. It took me a long time to get over him—to be able to look at someone else with anything else in mind except friendship."

Harry asked, "How long?"

Joshua chewed on his lower lip as he thought then answered, "The better part of two years. Oh, the pain lessened quicker than that, but… I just didn't trust anyone anymore."

Harry smiled ruefully, "I can understand that. It's been just over a year and a half for me—I'm starting to put it behind me, but it's hard, especially since I have Dria." He peeked over at Joshua as he inquired, "Umm, how much do you know about the wizarding world?"

"Probably not enough—most of my dealings were on a diplomatic level. Why?"

"Did you know it's possible for a wizard to get pregnant?" Harry laughed at Joshua's shocked expression. "It has to do with our magical powers. If we want it enough, our magic makes it happen."

"So, Dria really _is_ your daughter, in every sense of the word. She's beautiful. What about the other father? Does he have anything to do with her?"

Harry shook his head vehemently, "No, he doesn't even know she exists. I left him when I was three months pregnant—I was planning on telling him the night… the night…" His voice choked and the words slowly halted.

Joshua reached over and gently took the younger man's hand, whispering, "Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes it helps."

Nodding slightly, Harry stared out at the beach, where his daughter and friend were playing. The words began pouring from his lips as he reached into his memories for one of the darkest periods of his young life.

"I was feeling off—you know, like when you're getting the flu or a cold. I went to St. Mungos and saw one of the mediwitches there. She ran several tests, finally figuring out I was expecting a baby. Let me tell you—I was stunned, to say the least. I was raised by muggles, and had no idea a man could get pregnant. The mediwitch gave me some pamphlets to read and sent me off with a warning. The first three months of a male's term of pregnancy is fraught with risks, so I decided not to tell my husband about it until the danger was past." He looked down at his hand, surprised to see Joshua was still holding it and rubbing his thumb across Harry's palm in a comforting pattern. He glanced up and continued at Joshua's look of encouragement.

"Our one year wedding anniversary also marked the end of the waiting period—I had this whole romantic scenario planned. I arranged for a nice dinner, candles, flowers, soft music—everything I could think of. I took several days off from work and appararated to our cottage a day before our anniversary." He took a swig of his beer for courage and continued, "I was going to set everything up, then firecall my husband. However, when I walked into the cottage, I could tell something was wrong. I could hear voices, coming from the bedroom."

Harry's grip on the bottle in his hand tightened as he recalled what happened next, "I crossed the sitting room to the bedroom door and… and I saw… my husband, there, in bed—in _our_ bed—with another man. To make matter worse—if _that_ were possible—it was one of my worst enemies, a man who has hated me since I was a child. I stood there, unable to move or even breathe, just watching and listening. They were lying there, talking. The asshole was telling my so-called spouse about his plans to capture me and turn me over to Voldemort."

"Shit, Harry. What happened?"

Harry gave a bitter laugh and drank some more of his beer, "I quietly put the anniversary present I had brought onto the table and walked out of the cottage. I made it about ten steps past the door before I fell to my knees and puked my guts out. I apparated to the Leaky Cauldron then, where I spent the night. The next morning, I went to Gringotts and cleaned out my accounts, then purchased a plane ticket to New York. The rest, as they say, is history."

The two men sat in silence for a while, each lost in his own thoughts. Eventually Joshua stirred and asked hesitantly, "Harry, have you ever contacted a wizarding lawyer about child custody?"

"No, I never saw any need. Se… my husband is unaware of Dria's existence, so why cause myself unnecessary headaches?" Harry gazed down at the beach as his giggling daughter ran away from a small wave, Robin close behind her.

Joshua had a very serious expression on his handsome face as he stated, "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… Part of my duties as liaison was to provide legal advice in international custody cases. One of the last ones I worked on involved an American muggleborn witch and a British pureblood wizard. That case is actually very similar to your own situation. Mrs. Oakthorn left her husband and returned to America, where she gave birth to twin boys. Mr. Oakthorn was unaware of her pregnancy and was never notified about his sons' existence. Several years passed before he found out."

"And?"

"It was nasty, Harry. The court battle lasted for months, and… well, the wizarding laws supported Mr. Oakthorn. The fact that Mrs. Oakthorn was aware of her pregnancy when she left and never told him was a major strike against her." The blond man gave Harry an apologetic look as he continued, "Mr. Oakthorn's attorney alleged that he had been deprived of the experience of seeing his sons' birth and the joy of watching them mature. He was granted full custody, with Mrs. Oakthorn getting very limited visitation rights. She will regain some of her rights after five years, the same amount of time Mr. Oakthorn was unaware of the boys' existence."

"So you're saying my husband could sue me and possibly take Dria away from me? Fuck!" Harry raked his fingers through his already-messy hair then shook his head, "No—he might be a bastard, but he would never do something like that. Besides, I don't think he would even care about her—I don't think he likes children very much."

"Be that as it may, you would be better off forewarned, so to speak. I really think you need to get some advice from a family law attorney. I would hate to see you lose that precious little girl."

Harry nodded thoughtfully, "Yes, you're probably right. I'll contact someone tomorrow. Thanks, Joshua."

"No problem. Now, let's move on to a more pleasant topic. What are you doing on Friday evening?"

"Umm, nothing. Why?"

"How about having dinner with me? I know this great Greek place we could try, and afterward we could catch a movie or go out dancing. What do you say?"

Harry contemplated the other man's question for a minute. If he was ever to move on with his life, he needed to put Severus firmly in the past and consider the possibility of a relationship with someone else. He slowly nodded, "Sounds good, provided I can find a sitter for Dria. Why don't you come by around seven?"

Joshua beamed as he stood up, "Great. I'll be there. How about we go down and rescue Dria from my sister's clutches?" He peeled off his tee shirt and jeans, revealing his swimsuit underneath. Harry laughed and took off his shirt as well. His shorts would do as a suit. The two men wandered down to the beach and began a rousing game of chase with Harry's small daughter.

July 31, 2001—Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Severus walked up to the statue guarding the entrance to Albus Dumbledore's office and gave the password. As he entered the cluttered room, he looked around, surprised to find the Headmaster missing. The potions master had sent a message earlier, stating the need for a meeting.

As he stood there, undecided on whether he should leave or not, he heard a rustling from near one of the bookcases. The shelving slowly opened, revealing a hidden doorway. The gaudily dressed older man came into the room and said, "Severus, I'm sorry I'm late. There was a house matter that Professor Flitwick needed to discuss with me. Please, my boy, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"

"Thank you Albus, but no." Severus gracefully sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs near the Headmaster's desk and stated, "There is something major brewing, Albus. The Dark Lord is gathering the Death Eaters together, and he has hired outside agents, as well. They are stationed throughout the world, looking for something. Unfortunately, my sources were unable to tell me exactly _what_ was being searched for."

The Headmaster stroked his beard, deep in thought. He eventually sighed and asked, "Do you think it has anything to do with Harry? Tom knows he can never truly win until he defeats the boy, so I would think finding Harry would be one of his top priorities."

"Yes, I'm afraid Harry _is_ at the center of the Dark Lord's new plan. That _blasted_ boy—he probably isn't even aware of what is going on around here. He's let no one know of his location, not even his best friends, so he most likely has cut himself off from the entire wizarding world. Otherwise, someone somewhere would have had word of him."

Albus carefully watched the other man as he asked, "Severus, I've never pried, however I am beginning to feel that I must. What exactly happened between the two of you that caused Harry's flight?"

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wanting to avoid the question. He knew his actions had driven his young husband away. Taking a deep breath, he replied, "Harry showed up at the cottage when I was 'entertaining' Lucius Malfoy. Remember, at that time, we had heard rumors that the Dark Lord was planning on kidnapping Harry. I had resumed my affair with Lucius in the hopes he would tell me about it. Lucius always talks more than he should."

"Harry didn't know about your relationship with Lucius?"

"Merlin's balls, Albus. How in the hell was I supposed to work _that_ into a conversation? 'Oh, by the way Harry, the Order wants me to sleep with Malfoy so I can get information from him. Nothing to it, really.' Yes, I could see _that_ going over well." The dark-haired wizard glared at his friend.

"Now, now, I mean no offense, Severus. I know that we've asked way too much from you over the years—if your assignment is what caused the break with Harry, then I am truly sorry. When we find him, I will do my utmost to mend the damage. I promise you that."

"Don't you mean _if_ we find him?" Severus leaned forward in his chair, sorrow clearly written on his face, "I doubt anything we say will repair this, Albus. If Harry were interested in continuing our relationship, he would have returned by now. I have given up hope for a reconciliation. My main concern now is that he is safe."

"Never say never, my boy. Now, I feel we should contact the Order and update them about this new piece of information. Do you know exactly where the hired agents are located?"

Severus drew out a piece of paper from one of his pockets and handed it to the Headmaster. "You'll find everything I've learned written here, Albus. Please do contact the Order. They might have additional information, as well. I will continue to make inquiries, but I fear time is running short." He stood and brushed his black robes, saying, "Now, I have some potions that need my immediate attention. Please excuse me, Headmaster." With a nod, he turned and exited the office.

The Slytherin Head glided through the passageways of the school, deftly avoiding contact with anyone. He entered his rooms and quickly unbuttoned his robe, throwing it on the back of a nearby chair. He was wearing a pair of black trousers and a dark green silk shirt underneath. Severus walked over to a cabinet near the fireplace and took out a bottle of firewhiskey and a glass. He settled into his favorite chair and poured himself a stiff drink.

As he stared into the amber liquid, he thought back to the day that Harry had disappeared.

Severus had contacted Lucius and arranged to meet him at his and Harry's cottage. He didn't like the idea of holding the tryst there, but he couldn't allow Lucius into the dungeons at Hogwarts and had no desire to go to the Malfoy mansion.

The blond man had shown up, excited about the new plans that were being made by Voldemort. It had taken very little to get the man to talk—a simple blowjob had done the trick. Severus quickly got rid of Lucius afterward, not wanting to bask in the afterglow as the blond did.

Once Lucius was gone, Severus went into the sitting room, intending on apparating back to Hogwarts immediately. He had glanced around the room and noticed a small, brightly wrapped package sitting on the dining room table. His heart sank as he read the note attached, 'To Severus on our one year anniversary. With all my love, Harry.' The dark-haired spy realized that his spouse had shown up at the cottage and had probably seen him with Lucius.

Severus immediately went to the aurors' headquarters, where he talked to Kingsley Shacklebolt and found out that Harry had scheduled a vacation. He then returned to Hogwarts, hoping to find the other man there. When he found his rooms empty, he contacted the Weasleys, then everyone else he could think of, with no luck. His young husband had simply vanished.

The potions master had used every trick he knew during the first few weeks, searching frantically for his missing spouse. Gradually, over the next year, he realized that Harry was gone, possibly for good and gave up the hunt.

Severus rose from his chair and crossed into his bedroom. He moved to a trunk at the end of his bed and muttered a spell, unlocking the trunk's wards. He lifted the lid up and carefully took out the present Harry had left for him, still in its original wrapping. Clutching it to his chest, Severus slowly laid down on the bed. He wouldn't allow himself to cry—he hadn't cried in the nearly two years Harry had been missing. He closed his eyes and tried to will the pain away, to no avail.

Severus finally fell asleep, still holding the present tight to his body. As he dozed off, a faint whisper escaped his lips, "Harry…"

August 2, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

"Damn, damn, _damn_!" Harry stormed into his condo, throwing his art portfolio roughly onto the couch. He was glad he had already dropped Dria off with Robin for the evening—he could vent his anger without scaring the baby.

His meeting with his attorney that afternoon had not gone well. The pompous older man had looked over his glasses at Harry and informed him his case didn't look very promising. The lawyer opined that the best thing for Harry to do was to return to England, appeal to his spouse in person, and hope that Severus would not take an interest in his young daughter. If he did, the courts would most likely grant custody to the Hogwarts potions master.

Harry had no desire to face his husband, but after hearing what the attorney had said, he was afraid that if he didn't, he would lose his baby girl. There was no way he could allow that to happen—she was the only thing that had kept him sane the past two years.

Glancing at the clock, he realized he barely had time for a shower before Joshua arrived. The green-eyed man wished he could cancel the dinner, but he figured that Joshua was already on his way over to the condo. Sighing, he walked into his bedroom and began stripping off his clothes.

After a quick shower, Harry stood in front of his closet and tried to decide what to wear. He finally chose a pair of black jeans and a deep red polo shirt. He rapidly dressed and was attempting to tame his wild hair when he heard the doorbell ring.

Harry smiled at the sight of the man standing on the other side of the front door. Joshua was dressed similarly to Harry and was holding a bottle of wine in one hand.

Joshua grinned as he stepped into the condo, "So, ready for a big night on the town?" He handed the bottle to Harry, leaned over and gently kissed Harry's cheek.

Harry could feel his cheeks burning as he looked up into Joshua's laughing blue eyes. He didn't have much experience with flirting—his first and only relationship had been with Severus. He smiled shyly as he put the bottle on the kitchen counter then picked up his jacket.

Maybe a night out with Joshua could distract him from his problems. He could only hope.


	4. Returning Home

Returning Home

Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom, 

_Lead thou me on;_

_The night is dark, and I am far from home,_

_Lead thou me on._

_Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see_

_The distant scene; one step is enough for me._

John Henry Newman

September 29, 2001—Somewhere in England

Voldemort was capable of being patient—he had learned his lessons the hard way during the thirteen years he had been incorporeal, slinking from place to place, always at the mercy of his few faithful followers. Throughout the seven years that followed his return to physical existence, he had remained patient, making only the occasional attempt to crush Potter and his allies.

Now, as his plans neared completion, he could feel his patience waning. He could taste the victory that was close at hand. The news his followers had brought him—information about a new tool he could use to his advantage in the war—caused him to move his plan forward. It was time to strike—against Dumbledore, Potter and the rest of the fools who thought to defeat him.

The Dark Lord strode through the damp passageway of his headquarters. He entered the vast hall where his Death Eaters were gathered, ignoring their cringing acts of servitude. Gliding to his throne, he gazed around, finally spotting the man he was looking for.

"Ssseverusss, my beloved potions master, approach."

Snape kept his eyes focused on his feet as he came to stand before Voldemort. He quickly knelt and asked, "My Lord, I live to serve you. What would you ask of me?"

"Potter, Ssseverusss. Any word on his location from that bumbling fool you work for?"

"No, My Lord. Dumbledore has given up the search for him. The impossible brat disappeared with no sign of where he went. My apologies, My Lord, that I haven't better news for you."

Voldemort waved his hand dismissively, "No, I'm pleased with your report, Ssseverusss. For once, I will have the advantage over the old fool. You may leave me now."

Severus cautiously stood, keeping his head down in a sign of subservience, and stepped back to his place in the loosely formed circle of Death Eaters. He was careful to keep his expression neutral as his mind raced. It worried him that Voldemort was not upset with the fact Harry's location was unknown still. He needed to get back to Hogwarts as soon as possible and discuss this with Dumbledore.

October 12, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

Dria squealed and bounced excitedly in her father's arms when she spotted the monkeys playing in their cage. "Lookee, daddy."

"Yes, sweetie. Those are monkeys. Can you say that? Mon-kees." Harry carefully enunciated the word for his daughter. Now nearly eighteen months old, her vocabulary was increasing daily.

"Unkees. See them. Me play wif them." The small toddler tried to squirm out of Harry's grasp to get to the animals.

Harry laughed as he lightly tickled her side, "No, Dria. People aren't allowed in there. You have to watch them from here." He glanced at his companion and smiled, "Geeze, Joshua, my little monkey wants to play with the other monkeys. She's so excited."

Joshua threw his arm around Harry's shoulders and leaned over, gently kissing his lips. "No, Harry. The little imp is just pulling your chain. She was just as excited last weekend when we took her to the beach, remember?"

"Yeah, you're right—as usual. Say, I'm hungry. Anyone interested in some lunch?" After both Joshua and Dria enthusiastically agreed, Harry quickly placed his daughter into her stroller and strapped her in. They wandered through the zoo, the two men pointing out other interesting exhibits to the wound up little girl, until they reached the zoo's cafeteria.

"What do you want to eat, Harry? I know what Miss Dria wants—a hot dog and fries," asked Joshua as Harry arranged Dria in a high chair and pulled it up close to the table.

Harry checked out the menu and said, "I think I'll have the chicken salad sandwich and chips. I also want a coke, okay?" He sat down in a chair as Joshua nodded and moved toward the line near the counter. Harry tilted his head and watched the other man, smiling faintly.

He and Joshua had been dating casually since they had met at Harry's birthday party. Harry enjoyed the other man's companionship, but was aware that Joshua wanted the relationship to become more serious that it presently was. He tried to feel more for the American, but had come to realize that he needed to end his connection with Severus before he felt comfortable moving forward in a new relationship.

Harry had decided to return to England and Hogwarts. He already arranged with a realtor to rent out the condo, since he would be gone for a minimum of six months. According to his attorney, divorce proceedings lasted at least that long when they involved a child. Harry had also purchased two tickets on a Muggle airplane—due to Dria's age, he wasn't willing to risk apparating across the Atlantic.

Joshua returned to the table, laden down with a tray full of food and drinks. He placed the tray down and handed Dria her hot dog. Glancing over at Harry as he sat in his chair, Joshua quietly inquired, "You have a serious look on your face, Harry. What's on your mind?"

"I… I wanted to tell you that Dria and I are… well, we're leaving for England at the end of the week. There are some things I need to take care of."

"Oh," Joshua looked surprised and hurt at the same time. "Umm, how long will you be gone?"

"Six to eight months, at least. I'm… I want to file for divorce—that takes a while."

A slow smile crossed Joshua's face as he asked, "So, you're finally ready to take that step, are you?" He tried not to get his hopes up—he wanted Harry, but the other man had been unwilling to move their relationship from the comfortable level of friendship they had established to a more intimate connection. "I'm glad. Does that mean…"

Harry understood what he was asking and returned Joshua's smile with one of his own. "Maybe. I can't promise anything right now, but in the future…" He shrugged as he continued, "Who knows."

"Well, with that to look forward to, the next six months will fly by. I can hardly wait until you come back." Joshua laughed as Harry blushed faintly, then the two men turned their attention to Dria, who had finished her hot dog and wanted to go see the 'efalumps'.

The next few days were hectic as Harry prepared for their trip. The realtor had found someone to rent the condo furnished, so he had to pack up his art and supplies. He shipped the crated paintings to the gallery where he'd had his latest show and asked them to try to sell the pieces. Harry then sent his art supplies ahead to England, so he would have something to work with while the divorce went through.

On Tuesday, he sat down at his desk and wrote several letters. Harry made arrangements with a local wizarding post office to send the letters via general owl—he thought Hedwig might be too recognizable to use, much to her chagrin. As he watched the last of the owls depart, he felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders—he was finally going to finish things with Severus.

Hermione was standing in the kitchen, finishing up the dinner dishes, when a peck on the window glass distracted her. Drying her hands, she opened the window, then ducked as a brown owl flew inside. The small bird fluttered around her head for a moment before landing on her outstretched arm and extending its leg. She absentmindedly handed the owl a treat as she unrolled the letter, then gasped.

"Ron, come here, quick!" she screamed.

"What is it, 'Mione?" Noting his wife's distress, Ron quickly moved to her side and took her in his arms. Hermione silently handed him the letter.

_Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Weasley_

_Evening Primrose Cottage, Ottery St. Catchpole, England_

_Tuesday, October 16, 2001_

_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_I know this letter is a shock, especially considering the way I took off without a word. Please, please forgive me? There is so much I want to tell you guys, but I can't bring myself to write it down._

_I am returning home to Hogwarts this week. I'm not sure how long I will be there. There are some personal issues that need resolving, and I suspect it won't be a pleasant situation._

_If you can forgive me for all the worry I put you through, and want to see me, please owl me at the Leaky Cauldron on Thursday, so we can make arrangements to get together on Friday. I miss you two, so much._

_Love,_

_Harry_

_P.S. Please tell no one about my return. The only people who know are Albus, and Ron's parents. Remember, no one else must know._

Ron tightened his arm around Hermione as he whispered, "Oh my God, he's alive and coming home!"

Arthur Weasley sighed as he closed the last file in his in-box. He had been swamped at work and was looking forward to a quiet evening at home. Gathering his things, he spelled the lights off and locked the door to his office. He then headed towards the exit and home.

Ten minutes later, Arthur apparated in the rear garden of the Burrow. He sat for a few minutes on a bench near the back door, enjoying the peace and solitude of his home. The past two years had seen Ron and Hermione married, as well as Bill and Fleur Delacour. The twins, Fred and George were now living in a flat above their joke shop and were quite successful. Charlie was still in Romania working with dragons, and Percy had moved into a small cottage near the ministry. The Burrows was definitely more peaceful with only Ginny living at home.

After a few minutes, Arthur felt the tension from the day's work begin to leave his body, and he stood, ready to enter the house. A muffled crying greeted him as he opened the door to the kitchen. "Molly, my dear, whatever is the matter? Are the children alright?"

Molly Weasley raised a tear-streaked face to her husband and sniffed, "Everyone is fine, Arthur. It's just that we received an owl today from Harry…"

"Harry! Gracious, that is good news. How is he?"

"Here, read for yourself." Molly dug a rumpled piece of parchment from the pocket of her apron and handed it to Arthur. She began bustling around the kitchen preparing dinner. "I can't believe it, Arthur. After two years, we've finally heard from him. You have no idea how much I've worried about the poor dear."

"Molly, my love, I know you have been worrying. _Everyone_ knows how much you've been worrying about Harry." Arthur smiled fondly at his wife as he teased her, then unrolled the parchment in his hand.

_Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Weasley_

_The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, England_

_Tuesday, October 16, 2001_

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,_

_This is very awkward, writing to you after the way I took off. Please accept my apologies for any distress my disappearance may have caused you._

_I so deeply appreciate everything you have done for me in the past and I hesitate to ask more from you, however there is no one else I trust with this task. There are some matters that I cannot trust to paper that I need your assistance with. Would you please meet me this Friday? I have already owled Ron and Hermione, and hopefully they too will be there._

_Please, if you are willing to see me, owl me at the Leaky Cauldron on Thursday. I will respond with the meeting location at that time._

_Sincerely,_

Harry J. Potter 

_P.S. Other than you two, Ron and Hermione, and Albus Dumbledore, NO ONE must know of my return. Please, this is very important._

Arthur looked over at his wife and chuckled, "Well, I guess I know what we'll be doing on Friday, hmm?"

Minerva McGonagall paused in front of the entrance to the Headmaster's office and uttered the password, "Droobles Best Blowing Gum." As the door opened, she stepped through and rode the spiral staircase up to his office.

"Albus, you're back. How did the meeting go?"

"Not well, my dear. Please, have a seat and we can discuss it." The Headmaster gestured towards several overstuffed chairs near the fireplace. Tea had been set up nearby, and Minerva poured two cups, handing one to Albus as he settled into the chair on the right. She took her seat and quietly waited for him to begin.

"Severus was called again—he should be back soon." Albus frowned down at his teacup and continued, "That's the third time in a week—Voldemort is making some sort of move. I only wish I knew what he was up to."

"Did the Order have any news, Albus?" Minerva slid a plate of sandwiches nearer to the Headmaster in a silent plea for him to eat. Albus had been apparating to various locations throughout England over the past week, contacting different Order members as he tried to decipher Voldemort's plan. As a result, he was quickly becoming exhausted and wasn't taking care of himself as well as she thought he should.

"Bits and pieces about the movements of the Death Eaters, but nothing concrete." Albus absently picked up a sandwich and began nibbling on it. "However, I did receive some good news right before I left this morning. There was an owl from Harry."

"Harry! Oh, thank goodness, Albus—he's still alive." Minerva smiled at her friend and asked, "What did the letter say?"

"He'll be here on Saturday. I fear, though, that it won't be a happy homecoming, for either him or Severus. Harry stated that he's planning to contact an attorney here and begin divorce proceedings."

"Oh dear—Severus won't like that, not one bit." Minerva shook her head sadly as she thought of the Potions Master. He had been frantic right after Harry's disappearance, spending most of his free time searching for his spouse. It had been almost a year before he gave up and had been moodier than usual ever since.

"I doubt he'll have much choice in the matter. Harry seemed very determined in his letter and we both know how stubborn he can be. We can only hope that the two of them will talk things over. I would hate to see the divorce go through—they both care for each other too much for that." Albus was aware of the cause of Harry's departure, and felt an immeasurable amount of guilt for inadvertently causing it. He looked up at Minerva, blue eyes twinkling slightly as he said, "Anyway, I wanted to warn you, so you could be prepared for whatever fireworks take place. As headstrong as they both are, the negotiations will definitely not be peaceful."

"What negotiations are those, Albus?" Severus asked quietly from the partially opened door. He leaning wearily against the doorjamb, Death Eater's robe and mask carelessly draped over one arm.

"Severus, my dear boy. Come in, have a seat." Albus waved a hand toward an empty chair, ignoring the man's question and asking one of his own. "You've come from a meeting—what news do you have about Voldemort?"

Severus pushed off from the doorjamb and moved to the offered seat, sitting down heavily with an exhausted sigh. He dropped the robes and mask on the floor beside him, heedless of the wrinkles that would cause and took the cup of tea Minerva handed him. "The Dark Lord is definitely planning something, Albus—and I fear it has something to do with Harry." His sharp eyes noted the look that passed between his two companions and he frowned as he stated flatly, "You've heard something, haven't you?"

Albus shifted slightly in his chair before nodding. "I've received an owl from him just today. I can't tell you what it contained since he asked me to keep it secret, but I can assure you that he is okay." He sipped his tea as he watched the other man close his eyes in relief.

A second later, the dark eyes snapped open and Severus warned, "You have to let him know that Voldemort knows something—I'm not quite sure what—and that he's in danger."

"I can't right now—Harry used a general post owl and gave no forwarding address." Albus raised an eyebrow in surprise when the teacup Severus had been holding in a loose grip cracked as the Potions Master squeezed his hand in agitation, but said nothing. He waited patiently while his two co-workers cleaned up the mess caused by the broken teacup then said, "Maybe you should tell us what you've heard."

Severus leaned forward in his chair, rubbing his face in frustration. He propped his elbows on his knees and braced his head on his clenched fists as he quietly explained to Albus and Minerva what Voldemort had said during their latest meeting.

"Hmm, he thinks he's one step ahead of me, does he? This can't be good." Albus thoughtfully chewed on his lower lip, twirling one finger through his beard as he contemplated what he had just heard. He glanced up at Severus, eyes softening as he noticed the man's unhappy expression. The Headmaster took a deep breath, praying Harry would forgive him for this small betrayal and softly said, "He'll be here on Saturday."

Severus looked up in confusion, "Who will be here Saturday?"

"Harry."

Narrowing his eyes at his employer, Severus ground out through gritted teeth, "You weren't going to tell me?" He jumped up from his chair and began pacing the room, raking his long fingers through his hair.

"Harry asked Albus not to say anything to you, Severus." Minerva said softly, her face full of sympathy for her hurting friend. She looked over at Albus and insisted, "You need to tell him the rest, Albus. He's been through enough."

Albus sighed as he heaved himself up and went over to the fireplace, staring into the crackling flames. He remained quiet for a few minutes then turned and faced his friend. "I'm going against what Harry wanted, but Minerva's right. You should know what he's planning. I'm not sure what day he's actually arriving back in England, but he's going to contact an attorney once he gets here. He's filing for a…"

"Divorce," Severus completed dully. He stood frozen in place, shoulders slumped in defeat as he realized just what Voldemort had cost him. Shaking himself slightly, he straightened his body and met his friend's eyes, pain visible in his face, "It's just as well. Harry deserves to be happy, and I destroyed the possibility of it happening with me. When he gets here, please assure him that there will be no protest from me." He quietly excused himself and left the Headmaster's office, planning to seek out his dungeons and his precious privacy in order to mourn his loss.

October 17, 2001—The Leaky Cauldron, London, England

Harry got stiffly out of the cab and reached in to unbuckle Dria's car seat while the driver went around to the back of the vehicle to retrieve their luggage. Harry ignored the cabbie's puzzled looks as he piled the suitcases onto the sidewalk, aware that the man was confused about their location. They weren't in a residential area, and as far as the Muggle knew, there wasn't a hotel around for blocks. He quickly paid the required fare and watched as the cab pulled away from the curb and disappeared around a corner.

Looking down into his daughter's petulant face, Harry sighed and silently withdrew his wand from his back pocket. Their overnight flight from America to England had been a miserable experience for them both. Dria had already been cranky due to a cold, and the pressure from the altitude had acerbated the pain from her ear infection. As a result, neither one of them had gotten much sleep, and they were exhausted. Harry just wanted to get inside The Leaky Cauldron, check in and find their room. He glanced around, confirming that there was no one around, quickly levitated their luggage and entered the Wizarding establishment.

The interior was exactly as he remembered from his earlier visits, and Harry felt himself relax a fraction. He'd been worried that he would feel awkward in the Wizarding world after his absence, but it actually felt like he was coming home. He smiled faintly at that thought, and went in search of Tom.

Several hours later, Harry was lying on the bed in his room, Dria napping beside him. He'd managed to sleep for a while but was still feeling tired. He blinked sleepily at the sound of a soft sound and looked over at the window to see Pigwidgeon, Ron's owl, sitting on the sill. He rolled out of bed, unfastened the scroll tied to his leg and fed the owl a small treat. Pig hooted a quiet thanks, then took off toward home.

Harry stared down at the letter in his hand, amazed to see his fingers were shaking. He was thankful the scroll wasn't red—he wouldn't have been surprised to receive a Howler from his friends. He gathered his courage and opened the message to read.

_Harry J. Potter_

_The Leaky Cauldron, London, England_

_Harry,_

_You complete and utter dolt. Where the hell have you been? I could strangle you for disappearing this long, but Hermione tells me that I need to wait to hear your reasons before doing anything rash. Of course, we forgive you and want to see you. So do Mom and Dad. In fact, they're planning on staying tonight at the cottage so we can all come visit you together._

_Harry, mate, I can't wait to see you. You also know that we will help you in any way we can, so don't worry about anything. Thank Merlin you're home. Until tomorrow then._

_Ron_

_Harry—ignore Ron's rudeness. I won't let him strangle you—I'm reserving that for myself. You'd better have a good excuse for not contacting us all this time._

_We haven't talked about your return with anyone other than Molly and Arthur, so don't worry about that either._

_We love you._

_Hermione_

Harry smiled as he rolled up his friends' letter. He was thankful that they had obviously forgiven him, but he realized that Hermione at least would give him an earful tomorrow. He sat down at the desk and quickly penned a reply, then called Hedwig and gave her instructions to find Ron and Hermione.

He couldn't wait until tomorrow.


	5. Confrontations

Confrontations

His flawed heart – Alack, too weak the conflict to support – 

_'Twixt two extremes of passion, joy and grief,_

_Burst smilingly._

William Shakespeare–'King Lear'

October 19, 2001—The Leaky Cauldron, London, England

Harry looked down at the smear of oatmeal and bananas on his shirt and sighed in resignation. Raising his head, he narrowed his eyes at his daughter, who glared right back at him. The expression on Dria's face drew a startled laugh from him—she looked exactly like Snape at that particular moment.

The morning started out poorly and was heading downhill quickly. Harry woke up late, and Dria was still not over her cold. She had fussed and fought him while he dressed her and was now expressing her displeasure with the breakfast he'd ordered for her. "Dria, you have to eat your oatmeal, so I can get us cleaned up before our friends get here."

"Don't like, Daddy. Want o's!" Dria clamped her lips together and twisted her head, refusing the spoonful of oatmeal Harry offered.

Harry gritted his teeth and said, "Sweetie, I already told you, they don't have Cheerios here at the Leaky Cauldron. I'll try to get some today, but for now, you have to make do with this." He held out the spoon again, but Dria kept her head turned away from him, so he dropped it into the bowl and muttered, "I give up."

Reaching for a napkin, Harry wiped his daughter's face and hands, then let her down from the table. He glanced at his plate of now-cold eggs and sausage, muttered a warming spell and ate, not really tasting the food. He felt as though there was a solid lump of lead sitting in the pit of his stomach. _'This is ridiculous. Ron, Hermione and the Weasleys are my friends—why am I dreading seeing them?'_

He knew why. Guilt. Guilt for running away. Guilt for leaving everyone behind to deal with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Guilt for never contacting them, letting them worry about his well-being. Harry felt so pressed down with remorse, he could scarcely breathe.

He stood, put the dirty dishes on the tray and placed everything outside of the room door. Harry glanced around and noticed Dria was busy, playing with her blocks, so he walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a clean shirt and a robe. Tossing the robe down onto the bed, he eyed it while he changed shirts. He hadn't worn wizarding clothes since he'd moved to America and had mixed feelings about donning them again.

Suddenly, there was a pounding on the door. Harry swallowed hard, slipping on the robe as he went to greet his friends. When he opened the door, he just stood there, staring at the concerned faces on the other side. Nothing was said for a moment, then Molly Weasley burst into tears and cried, "Harry!" She reached out and engulfed him in a tight hug as the others began chattering and patting him on the shoulders and back.

Harry felt a tug on his robe and pulled out of Molly's embrace just as a tiny voice asked plaintively, "Daddy 'kay?" The room grew quiet as he picked up Dria, who promptly hid her face in his shoulder when she noticed the four sets of eyes fixed on her.

"Who's this?" Ron asked, a confused expression on his face.

Smiling at the people surrounding him, Harry said awkwardly, "Umm, I'd like to introduce my daughter, Dria." He glanced down at the top of his daughter's head and whispered softly, "Dria, it's okay. These are daddy's friends. This is Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Ron and Mrs. Hermione." He pointed at each person as he said their name.

"Oh Merlin, Harry, she's beautiful," Molly exclaimed, reaching a hand out and gently touching Dria's dark curls. Dria peeked curiously up at the older woman then gave a tentative smile. Molly smiled back as she asked, "Can I hold you, sweetie?"

Dria hesitated then extended her small arms and leaned toward Molly. Molly took her and turned to Arthur as she cooed, "What a pretty little girl you are. Oh Arthur, I can't wait to become a grandmother, although," she shot a dark look at Ron and Hermione, "some people don't seem to be in a hurry to help me become one."

Ron grinned at his wife as she blushed then answered his mother, "Oh, I don't know about that, mum. You might want to practice on Dria here for the next seven months or so, then we'll see."

"Hermione?" Molly asked. Hermione bit her lip then nodded, a slow smile crossing her face. Molly laughed, "Thank goodness. Arthur, did you hear that?"

Arthur chuckled, "Yes dear. You finally get your wish. You're finally going to be a grandma." He turned to Ron and Hermione, "Congratulations, my children. I'm very proud of you." He hugged them both then looked over at Harry and said, "Harry, we're so glad you're back, and with such a wonderful surprise. However, you said in your note that you needed some help from us. What do you need?"

"Well, there are some things that I need to take care of over the next six months, and I was wondering if I could leave Dria with you once in a while." Harry took a deep breath and continued, "I'm filing for a divorce and will be meeting with my lawyers, and I don't think Dria needs to be dragged through all that."

Arthur and Molly looked at each other then Molly asked, "Are you sure, Harry?"

Ron placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Harry smiled gratefully up at his friend then answered, "That's why I returned to England. I need to move on with my life, and I can't while I'm still married to Severus."

Hermione asked gently, "Can you tell us why, Harry? You two were so happy, then all of a sudden, you disappeared. Professor Snape was devastated—he looked for you for almost a year."

"He did?" Harry was surprised. "I didn't think he'd care one way or the other." He closed his eyes for a second as he collected himself then said softly, "I don't really want to go into the whys right now, okay? Maybe someday…"

Ron watched his parents and wife as they silently communicated with each other then replied, "We're here for you, Harry, no matter what. I've no doubt that mum and dad will be more than happy to watch Dria for you, and so will Hermione and me. No worries, okay mate?"

Harry grinned apologetically as he asked, "Tomorrow okay with you? I'm going to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore, and I probably should talk to Severus as well."

Hermione frowned, "Don't you think he wants to see Dria, Harry?" She carefully watched Harry's reaction to her question then gasped when she realized, "He doesn't know, does he? About Dria, I mean."

Moving over to the window, Harry stared out at the clouds that were drifting slowly across the blue sky. "No. I was going to tell him the night… umm, the night I left. Afterward, I was so hurt, so angry that there was no way I was going to tell him." A shiver ran up his spine when he considered the reaction his spouse might have to the news. Harry thought longingly of escape, of jumping on his broomstick and flying away from the situation. He turned and faced his friends, "However, as time went on, I realized that what I did was a mistake—Severus should have been allowed access to his daughter. That is something we'll have to work out—visitation might be tricky with me in the States and him here."

"What? You're not leaving, are you Harry?" Ron exclaimed.

Harry reluctantly met his friend's steady gaze, "I have to, Ron. It would be too painful to stay here, and I've built up a life there. I'm establishing a name for myself in the art world plus I have a home now, one that I feel comfortable in."

Hermione crossed the room and hugged Harry. "Whatever you need to do, we'll support you, Harry. We're your friends, and I for one don't want you disappearing again." She moved back slightly and punched him in the arm, "That was a really lousy thing to do to us, you creep."

"Ow." Harry rubbed his arm and glared at Hermione, who grinned back at him unrepentantly. He sighed as he admitted, "I guess you owed me that, but don't do it again, okay?"

Ron pulled his wife away from Harry, "You know how she is, mate, and she's worse now she's pregnant." He ducked away as Hermione took a swing at him and said, "See what I mean? Bossy little thing." They all burst out laughing when she stuck her tongue out at him.

Arthur announced that he needed to get back to work and Molly handed Dria back to Harry. They made arrangements for him to drop her off at the Burrow before he headed to Hogwarts in the morning, then the elder Weasleys took their leave.

Hermione looked at her husband and friend and grinned, "I'm hungry. Fortescue's has some wonderful pickle flavored ice cream, and I could go for a triple scoop sundae, doused with chocolate sauce." She laughed at the gagging sounds the men made as they headed out of the room.

The trio spent an enjoyable afternoon on Diagon Alley as they chatted about everything and nothing, catching up on each other's lives. Harry relaxed as the day went on—he was relieved his friends had forgiven him so readily.

They made a quick stop at Gringotts, allowing Harry to reopen his account and deposit some of the money he'd brought with him from America, then they hit Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. Harry purchased several new robes for himself, since he'd only kept one during his time away. Hermione insisted that she and Ron wanted to buy something for Dria, and they finally settled on two diminutive sets of robes; one, a pale pink velvet formal robe with lace on the collar and the other a deep green set that matched her eyes.

After they had dinner back at the Leaky Cauldron, Harry hugged his friends and wearily took Dria back to their room. It had been a long day, and he still wasn't recovered from their trip. He bathed his daughter and tucked her into the bed, watching as she quickly fell asleep. He settled into the bed beside her, but found sleep to be elusive.

Finally, after hours of staring at the ceiling, his eyes drifted shut.

October 20, 2001—Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Severus prowled along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, collecting various ingredients he needed for his potions. It was early in the day, earlier than he was usually out, but he'd felt restless, unable to focus on any of his work. His young husband was supposed to come to Hogwarts today and even though he'd accepted the end of their relationship, he was unsure of what his reaction would be should he accidentally encounter Harry.

He heard the faint sounds of gravel crunching and turned to see Harry walking along the shore of the lake. Severus stepped back into the safety of the shadows of the trees and watched his lover approach the school and disappear through the front doors. His chest felt tight and he realized that two years absence hadn't lessened his feelings for Harry—it was going to be harder than he'd originally thought to let go.

Harry strode purposefully through the halls of Hogwarts, waving as several people called greetings to him but not stopping until he reached the gargoyle that stood at the entry to Dumbledore's office. He looked helplessly at the statue, not knowing the password and uncertain how to gain entrance.

"Problems, Mr. Potter?" an amused voice asked from behind him.

Harry swirled around and came face to face with Minerva McGonagall. "Professor McGonagall! How great it is to see you." Harry leaned over and lightly kissed her on the cheek. He glanced wryly at the statue and said, "I… uh… I don't know the password. I've got an appointment with the Headmaster."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. Droobles Best Blowing Gum. He's waiting for you, Harry." She motioned at the now-open doorway, waiting for him to enter. Minerva followed him up the moving stairs and into Dumbledore's office, where she quietly seated herself in one of the chairs around the desk.

Albus watched as Harry sat in the chair next to Minerva, noticing the slight changes in the young man. Harry seemed quieter, more mature. He'd obviously grown up from the impetuous boy into a man during his sojourn in America. Albus cleared his throat to get their attention then smiled over at Harry. "Harry, you have no idea how relieved we were to receive your owl the other day. We were beginning to fear that Tom and his cronies had gotten to you."

Harry shifted in his chair, "Sorry about that. I… uh…" He glanced over at Minerva then bit his lip. He didn't want to tell anyone the real reason for his leaving—even though Severus had hurt him, Harry didn't want to strike back by causing a scandal at the school.

"It's okay, Harry. I understand," Albus said gently. He leaned back, rocking back in his chair until he was sitting on two legs, steepled his fingers in front of his face and came directly to the point, "In your letter, you mentioned that you were planning to seek a divorce from Severus, but that there was a matter that complicated things. What matter is that, Harry?"

"Our daughter." Harry replied flatly.

"What?" Albus and Minerva cried in unison. Albus' chair dropped down with a resounding thud and Minerva rose up in her seat, her mouth gaping open.

Harry looked on in amusement as his two companions sputtered their astonishment at his announcement. He grinned, "Surprise?"

Albus regained his composure quickly and leaned back again, carefully keeping all four legs of his chair on the floor this time. "A daughter, Harry?" He searched the young man's face then stated, "This isn't going to sit well with Severus."

"Tough. He didn't exactly worry about my feelings when…" Harry voice faltered as he turned his face away, trying to hide the tears that sprang unbidden in his eyes. After a minute, he faced his former Headmaster and quietly asked, "Is he here, Albus?" _'How is he? Does he miss me as much as I miss him?'_ hung in the air, implied but not voiced.

"Minerva, my dear. Would you please go find Severus for us? I would like a moment to speak with Harry alone." Albus smiled sweetly at Minerva as she stood up and shook out her tartan trimmed robes.

"Certainly, Albus. Will fifteen minutes do?" When Albus nodded, she ruffled Harry's hair affectionately, "I'm pleased to see you looking so well, Harry. Don't worry, everything will work out for the best." She made her way to the door and hesitated, "I'm looking forward to meeting your daughter, Harry. Maybe tomorrow, depending on how things go?"

"Sure, Professor McGonagall," Harry agreed as she departed. He glanced over at the Headmaster and grinned. He hadn't really noticed before because he had been so nervous, but Albus was wearing dark brown robes, sprinkled here and there with images of different types of dragons. Every minute or so, one of the dragons would puff a miniscule burst of fire from its mouth and a small wisp of smoke would rise from the fabric.

"Harry, I need to tell you. Severus knows you're planning on the divorce. He came in as Minerva and I were discussing your owl and overheard part of our conversation. I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry shrugged, "It's okay, Professor. I'm going to talk to him today, so it doesn't really matter that he found out a day or two early. I'm just not sure how to approach the whole subject about Dria."

Albus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, giving himself a chance to think. He sighed again as he said, "Dria's existence does add a new twist to everything. Harry, I'm not sure how much you know about wizarding law but…"

"I've already seen a lawyer in the States, Headmaster," Harry interrupted. "I know my keeping Dria a secret damages my case, but I also know that the reason I left won't help Severus any."

"About that, Harry—you do realize Severus'… association with Lucius Malfoy has helped our cause against Voldemort, don't you?" Albus' blue eyes dimmed sadly as he watched the pained expression on Harry's face. He continued softly, "Please consider that when deciding what you want to do, Harry."

"I've already decided." Harry's words were confident, but his voice held a note of uncertainty, as he considered the implied meaning behind Dumbledore's words. Surely he didn't mean that Severus had been sleeping with Malfoy as part of his job as a spy. Harry's stomach roiled slightly at the thought. He flinched when the office door flew open before he could question the Headmaster more, his eyes darting to the entrance where his husband was standing.

Albus stood and moved toward the newcomers, "Ah, Severus. Here is Harry, waiting to speak with you. Minerva, we should go check on Mr. Filch. I believe he's adding some so-called improvements to the dungeon and we might need to halt his progress. Gentlemen." He nodded regally as he escorted Professor McGonagall from his office.

An uncomfortable silence surrounded the two men remaining. Harry finally jumped up from his chair and faced his spouse, "Severus, you look good."

Severus smirked at Harry's polite fabrication. He knew he looked exhausted—the dark purple circles under his eyes and his tired squint proved it. He ran his eyes over the lithe body of the other man, widening slightly in appreciation. Harry's body had matured from a teenager's to a full-grown man. His shoulders had broadened, yet his waist still remained as slender as ever. He took a deep breath and then exhaled quietly. "So do you, Harry. How have you been?"

Harry shook his head slightly in disbelief—here they were after two painful years, attempting to make small talk. "I'm fine. I believe the Headmaster informed you of the reason for my return, correct?" He noticed the other man's reaction to his words; Severus winced and briefly closed his eyes, then opened them wide and nodded.

"Yes, and I wanted to tell you that I'm not planning on contesting the divorce. You deserve to be happy, and if this is what you want, so be it." Severus was proud that his voice remained level, not betraying the pain that pierced his heart.

"There's something you need to know before you promise anything, Severus." Harry paused then took out his wallet and withdrew several small photos from a plastic liner. He silently handed them to Severus, then stood there, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

Severus frowned down at the pictures in his hand, his normally agile brain refusing to acknowledge the significance of what he was looking at. The images were obviously muggle in nature, the figures frozen stiffly in time. The first one showed Harry, tired but exhilarated, lying in what looked like a hospital bed, holding a tiny infant up for the camera. The second photo was of a small girl, locked into a muggle high chair and food smeared liberally all over her face and hair. There was a piece of cake on the tray in front of her and her bib read 'Happy 1st Birthday'.

The third picture brought Severus literally to his knees—it was his mother's face, looking out at him. He shook his head, as if to clear his vision, but the image remained unchanged. The young girl was laughing as she sat on the back of a pony, with Harry hovering protectively beside her. Severus looked up and stuttered, "Ha—Harry?"

Harry knelt beside his husband and smiled faintly as he looked at the photos, "Her name is Alexandria Lillian Potter-Snape. She was born on May 1, 2000 in New York City."

"You… you named her after me?" Severus was quickly doing the math in his head as Harry nodded. Born May 1st, which meant she had been conceived around the end of July—Harry's birthday, probably. It also meant he'd been about three months pregnant when he'd walked in to see Severus with Lucius. _'Shit!'_ "Oh Harry," he whispered, eyes closed in pain.

Harry shifted until he was sitting cross-legged, tailor style. He stared down at his hands as his fingers twisted back and forth. "By the time she was born, I'd gotten over a lot of my anger toward you. I was still hurt, but mostly I just wanted you there. I missed you terribly, so I decided to give her your middle name." His eyes flew up to meet his husband's as he asked hesitantly, "You don't mind, do you?"

Severus shook his head, his hair swishing almost violently at the movement, "You honor me by that, especially considering everything that happened." He glanced down at the photos he had clutched in his hand, and said slowly, "This changes everything, Harry."

Jumping to his feet, Harry raked his fingers through his hair as he paced, "It changes nothing, Severus. I still plan on filing the divorce papers. The only thing we need to work out is how we're going to handle visitation."

"You're planning on raising our daughter in a broken home, Harry?" Severus narrowed his eyes as he slowly got to his feet. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Harry spun around and glared at the other man, "She's done fine up until now. There's no way we're getting back together, Severus. I don't trust you. Do you have any fucking idea how I felt that day, walking into _our_ cottage and seeing you with… with that slimy _bastard_?" His volume increased as he spoke, until he was practically yelling with his last words.

"Harry, I know I hurt you, but you have to believe me when I say that I never intended to do that. I love you, and I've never given up hope that we could work things out."

"Ha!" Harry snorted with derision. "You think a few words will fix this, Severus? What, you tell me you love me, and then what? I'm supposed to fall into your arms and forgive everything? Not bloody likely." Severus reached out as if to touch the younger man and a flash of gold flashed on his hand. Harry's eyes widened when he realized that Severus was still wearing his wedding band—his own hand instinctively clutched at his shirt, where his own ring hung suspended with the pendant his husband had given him. He turned his back so Severus couldn't see the pain that was radiating from him.

Severus dropped his hand in resignation. Harry obviously hadn't forgiven him yet, but he hoped that he could convince his husband that he was sincere. He resolved to woo Harry, to make up for all the pain he'd caused, but he needed time in order to accomplish that. He needed to talk Harry into postponing the divorce. "Harry, please? For the sake of our daughter, and for what we once meant to each other, can you give me a chance? Give _us_ a chance? Please don't do anything about the divorce until after Christmas, at the earliest."

Harry slowly turned around and looked at his husband. He bit his lip as he saw the love and sincerity clearly shown in Severus' black eyes and nodded his head jerkily. "Alright. I'll give you until the new year, but I should tell you something. There's someone in America that I'm interested in. We're just friends right now—I didn't think it was fair to start something with him before everything was settled between you and me, but… If we're going to try this, I want complete honesty between us. I'm not going to cut off communication with Josh."

Anger and relief warred for a place in Severus' heart. He was thankful that Harry was willing to attempt a reconciliation, but how in the _hell_ was he supposed to fight against a phantom would-be lover? He had no choice but to accept the situation—for now. He smiled and said, "Thank you, Harry. You won't regret it, I promise."

"Now, in light of our new policy of complete honesty," Harry swallowed with difficulty as he tried to force the words past suddenly bloodless lips, "Is your… your affair… with Lucius still continuing?"

Severus cringed when he thought about the answer he had to give, but calmly replied, "Yes."

Green eyes widened in pain as Harry lashed out, "That was a fucking easy answer to one of the most difficult questions I have ever asked. You bast…"

Harry's words were cut off as he was slammed back against the wall. "You oblivious little idiot. How in Merlin's name can you think ANY of this is easy for me? It's my fucking _duty_, Harry, nothing more."

Harry looked up in surprise as Severus continued, "You've told me a bit of what you've dealt with, but do you have any idea what _I've_ been through? What I'm going through even now? What my job as a spy, my position in the Order has cost me? I lost the one person I have ever let into my life and heart. I lost the first years of my daughter's life—time I can _never_ get back."

"Severus…"

Snape's voice lowered to a whisper as he moved his head even closer to Harry's upturned face. "I've lost nights filled with passion and days filled with laughter. I've lost everything that ever mattered to me."

As the last words hissed from his lips, Severus leaned down and took possession of Harry's mouth. The kiss quickly turned carnal as Snape's knee forced itself between his husband's legs and his arms twined around the smaller man and jerked him closer.

Harry groaned as Severus began nipping his way down his neck, leaving a trail of fiery sensation in the wake of his lips. Hands gripped his derriere as his groin was pressed into a hard leg.

"Sev… oh, Merlin… Sev'rus, don't stop…"

Suddenly he was thrust backwards as the older wizard gasped for air. "That's what I've lost, you twit." With those words, Severus twirled and rushed out of the room. A frustrated Harry slid to the floor, staring blankly at the closed door.

"Maybe the answer wasn't as easy as I thought."

Severus stormed through the passageways, indiscriminately deducting house points from anyone who was in his way. By the time he reached his room in the dungeons, every house, including his own Slytherins, was down more than one hundred points.

He slammed the door behind him and stood in the middle of his sitting room, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He was angry with himself for losing control, for attacking Harry just when they'd reached a tentative peace between them. Severus prayed to the gods above that he hadn't damaged their truce beyond repair.

Moving to the fireplace, he stared down at a photo sitting there. It was their wedding picture—the frame was a deep mahogany, silver snakes and gold lions carved along the edge. He smiled at the photo—Harry had insisted that their robes match, except for the color. His had been the blackest velvet available, while Harry's were emerald green. Both sets had embroidery along the edges of the cuffs. Harry had laughed at the symbolism of the entwined snakes and lions, likening it to their own relationship.

Merlin, they'd been so happy that night. The moonlight caused Harry's green eyes to glitter, the love evident in them overwhelming. The photo-image Harry and Severus waved, arms encircling their waists, then they turned to face each other and passionately kiss.

Severus reached out and ran a tender fingertip along the photo-Harry's body. The image of himself turned to glare out at him, then possessively gathered Harry in a tight embrace. He smirked down at the photo—he'd always been overprotective of his husband.

Sighing, he began to move away from the mantle to head to the bedroom then glanced down at his hand. He was still holding the photos of Harry and Dria—he meticulously smoothed out the wrinkles his tight grasp had caused and propped them up, one by one, against the frame of the wedding picture.

As he looked at the photo of his daughter and husband, he silently promised himself he would get his family back—no matter what.


	6. Picking Up The Pieces

Picking Up The Pieces

_One separation breeds ten thousand regrets._

Ch'in Chia–'To My Wife 2' (A Book of Chinese Verse)

October 21, 2001 – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Harry staggered slightly when he apparated at the front gate of Hogwarts, but quickly caught himself and straightened. He smiled down into his daughter's eyes and softly reassured her, "Dria, daddy told you about that, remember? There's nothing to be scared of." He kissed her cheek tenderly then adjusted the lace collar on her robes. "Okay, baby girl, time to meet your papa."

They passed through the gates and slowly walked toward the castle. Harry looked out curiously – he'd been too anxious the day before when he had visited Dumbledore to notice his surroundings. Hogwarts hadn't changed in the slightest in the two years he'd been away.

"'Arry? 'Arry Potter, is that you?" Hagrid's voice rumbled behind them as they approached the front steps.

Harry turned with a grin. "Hagrid – how are…" Before he could finish his sentence, he was enveloped in a pair of sturdy arms. "Umm, Hagrid, ease up a bit, mate. We need some air," he muttered into a solid chest.

"Oh, sorry there 'Arry." Hagrid quickly released him and stepped back. "And who's this wee one, 'Arry?" he asked as he gazed down at Dria with surprise.

"Hagrid, I would like you to meet my daughter, Dria. Dria sweetie, this is Hagrid – he's one of daddy's friends."

Dria gazed wide-eyed at the half-giant, pressing herself back into her father's chest. "'Agrid." She giggled softly as Hagrid made a show of searching through his pockets, then reached out tentatively when he presented her with a lint-covered piece of peppermint humbug. "'Agrid."

"Dria, what do you say," Harry gently prodded his daughter.

"Tanks," she responded around the candy in her mouth.

"She's as cute as a baby dragon, 'Arry."

Harry laughed at that, taking it as a compliment when he recalled how besotted his friend had been with Norbert, the Norwegian Ridgeback Hagrid possessed for a while. "Umm, thanks Hagrid." Harry looked up at the front doors of Hogwarts then said apologetically, "We need to go, Hagrid – Severus is expecting us – but if we have time later, we'll stop by your cottage."

Hagrid gravely said, "'e missed ye sometin fierce, 'Arry. Still does, if ye be askin' me."

"Really Hagrid?" When Hagrid nodded, Harry quietly confessed, "I'm so confused, Hagrid. Everyone has told me about his searching for me – I didn't think he would even notice my leaving."

"Oh, 'e did, believe me, 'Arry. Do ye think there's any chance that ye and 'e…"

"I don't know yet, Hagrid. I promised him yesterday that I would stay until after the Christmas holidays – he wants to give our marriage a second chance." Harry bit his lip then shrugged helplessly, "I'm scared to trust him again."

Hagrid put a large hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. "Give it time, 'Arry – everything'll work out in the end." He gently pushed Harry toward the door. "Now, I'm sure 'e's waitin' anxiously fer ye, so ye better be off."

Several minutes later, Harry and Dria were standing in front of the door to Snape's quarters. Harry hesitated, unsure, then gathered his courage and firmly knocked. The door swung open instantly. Harry smiled to himself – Severus was obviously looking forward to meeting his daughter. "Good afternoon, Severus."

"Harry," Severus absently responded to the greeting, his gaze locked on the tiny girl in his husband's arms. There was an open, almost vulnerable expression on his normally impassive face. "Come in." He stepped back and gestured toward the sitting room.

Harry brushed past Severus and entered the room. He glanced about curiously and was stunned to see some of his possessions still resting in their places. The Quidditch trophy from his last year at Hogwarts was sitting on a bookshelf, his old broomstick was propped up in the corner and several of his old books lay in a neat pile on the table near the sofa. He turned to face his husband, an eyebrow arched in inquiry, "I figured you would have pitched my stuff by now."

Severus avoided both his eyes and the question as he walked into the tiny kitchen adjacent to the sitting room. "Would you and Dria like some tea? I believe the house elves left some biscuits around here somewhere as well."

Placing Dria on the floor near the fireplace, Harry took out a few toys and scattered them around her, warning, "Stay there, baby girl and don't go getting into anything." He then crossed to stand in the doorway of the kitchen and grinned as his husband rooted around in the cabinets. "Severus, quit it."

Severus started and swirled, banging his head on the open cupboard door. "Fuck." The biscuit package he'd had in his hand hit the floor with a thud, scattering the sweet treats all over. Severus glared as he rubbed his head, muttering, "What do you want?"

"For you to stop trying to act like the perfect host, come out into the sitting room and get to know your daughter." Harry smirked as he took out his wand and uttered a cleaning incantation. "Now, if I didn't know better, I would say you're afraid of a seventeen month old toddler."

Straightening his body in outrage, Severus hissed, "How dare you, Harry. I'm not frightened of my daughter." Unfortunately, the effect was ruined by his hand massaging the tender spot on his forehead.

Harry gently brushed aside his husband's hand and cast a small healing spell, one at which he'd become adept because of Dria's many little bangs and bruises. "There, all better. Dria's waiting, Severus and she's going to love you – provided you give her some time. This is all new to her, and she is a little scared right now." He grasped Severus' hand and tugged him into the other room.

"Oh, no!" Severus shook off Harry's hand and rushed over to the fireplace, where Dria was happily playing in the hearth. Soot was everywhere and the little girl was smeared head to toe in it. "Bad girl."

Dria looked up at her father as he towered over her and promptly began to cry. The tears mingled with the ashes, creating a filthy mess on her cheeks. She quickly reached for Harry as the sobs shook her tiny body.

Harry scooped her up in his arms, quietly soothing her as he watched Severus clean up the disaster area. "It's okay, love. Everything's going to be okay."

"It's hopeless – _I'm_ hopeless!" Severus flung himself onto the couch and glared over at Harry and Dria. "You're right, Harry. I _am_ terrified. When I saw her in the fireplace, my heart just… it just stopped, thinking she could hurt herself somehow."

"She's fine, Severus. Just a tad bit dirty and I need to change her clothes – that's all. You can't worry about everything she might get into. If you do, you'll be a nervous wreck." Harry looked down ruefully at his daughter and smiled. "Kids will do that to you, you know."

Severus brooded as Harry retrieved the diaper bag he'd dropped near the front door and began cleaning up their daughter. He had been anticipating their visit all morning, but when they were actually standing in his sitting room, he'd panicked. What did he know about raising small children? His experience with them started at age eleven, when they entered Hogwarts for the first time.

Harry slipped Dria's filthy pink robe over her head after he'd washed her face and hands, then dressed her in a Muggle tee shirt and jeans. Her sobs had quieted to soft hiccups as he carried her over to the couch and sat down next to Severus, holding the squirming girl on his lap. "Do you want to hold her?" he asked quietly.

Severus hesitated for an instant then extended his hands out to take her. Dria immediately started wailing again, clutching Harry tightly about his neck. Severus dropped his arms down to his side, sighing in defeat. This was going _exactly_ as he'd imagined it would.

"Dria sweetie, this is your Papa. Remember I told you we were going to see him today?" Harry tried to pry her hands off of him, but she refused to let go. She finally stopped crying and Harry settled her more comfortably in his lap.

Dria turned and looked at her father, her eyes still liquid with tears. She studied him for a moment then glanced up at Harry. "Where's Dosh, Daddy?"

Harry bit his lip, eyeing his husband anxiously as he responded, "Josh isn't here, Dria. Papa's here." He certainly hadn't wanted this subject to come up right now. Josh had quickly become a favorite of his daughter over the past few months. He had an easy way with children and the two of them had spent many hours playing and teasing each other.

"Want Dosh. Dosh take me to see the an'mals." Dria dismissed Severus as she buried her face in Harry's chest.

Severus tensed at the name of his husband's friend. Jealousy ripped through him; obviously whoever this Josh person was, he was quite close to both Harry and Dria. He jumped to his feet and started pacing about the room. "Congratulations Harry. You've already turned her against me, before we even met," he snarled, keeping his back to his two visitors.

"Severus…" Harry began.

"Get out! Get out of here NOW!" Severus stormed from the room and down the small hallway that led to his bedroom and study.

Harry stared at the doorway where the other man had disappeared. Severus was acting almost… jealous and Harry knew he needed to deal with the situation without their daughter around. He walked over to the cold fireplace and waved his wand, causing the flames to shoot upward. A pinch of Floo powder followed, and Harry called out, "Minerva McGonagall's office, Hogwarts." Once the flames turned green, he stuck his head and shoulders in and said, "Professor, I need your help."

Minerva looked up from the papers she was grading with a smile and replied, "If I can, Harry. What do you need?" She settled her square glasses firmly on the tip of her nose as she waited for his reply.

"Would you watch Dria for a little while? It's time that Severus and I talked, and it would be much easier without us having to keep an eye on her at the same time." Harry grinned at his former Head of House, knowing she was one of the people who were rooting for his and Severus' reconciliation.

"Certainly, I'll be there in a second." Minerva glanced around her cluttered office then asked, "Is it okay if I take her back to my rooms? There are too many things that she could get hurt on if we stay in here."

"Not a problem, Professor. Come through when you're ready." Harry pulled his head out of the Floo and stood up. The frame sitting on the mantle caught his eye – it was their Wizarding wedding picture. They – he'd been so content that day, thinking that Severus belonged to him. What a naïve little boy he had been back then.

The flare leapt up and he moved back to allow Minerva enough room to enter. She stepped in, brushing the faint traces of the ashes from her robes and looking over at the toddler playing on the floor. "She's beautiful, Harry."

Dria looked up at the sound of a strange voice and quickly moved to her father's side, clutching his leg. She peeked around him and stared at the newcomer.

Minerva smiled at Dria as she moved to the sofa and sat down. She leaned over slightly until her face was on the same level as the little girl's and tenderly said, "Dria, you _are_ a pretty little girl, aren't you? Come talk to me, please?"

After receiving an encouraging nod from Harry, Dria released her grip on his trousers and cautiously made her way over to the older woman. She contemplated Minerva for a minute then reached out her hand and grabbed for the square glasses.

Minerva laughed and moved her head back out of reach. "No, little one, I don't think so. Let's see what I have in my pockets for you to play with, shall we?" She pulled out a small glass ball and lightly ran her hand over it, triggering a spell on the toy. It began to pulse and alter colors, changing from red to blue to green then back to red. She then held it out to show Dria. "This is one of my grandchildren's favorite toys."

Dria stood transfixed by the Wizarding toy as it flashed. She then giggled as she climbed up onto the sofa beside Minerva and took the ball from the woman's outstretched hand. Rolling back and forth from one hand to the other, she giggled again and looked up at Minerva, a huge grin on her face.

"Would you like to see some other toys, Dria? I have some in my rooms that my grandchildren play with. I believe there's a dollhouse there that you would enjoy." When Dria nodded, Minerva scooped her up and stood. She looked over at Harry and said, "We'll be in my rooms, Harry. There's plenty there for her to stay occupied for hours, so take as much time as you need, alright?"

"Thanks Professor." Harry escorted them to the door and lightly ruffled his daughter's curls. "You be a good girl for the Professor, Dria and Daddy will come get you in a little while." He grabbed the diaper bag and handed it to Minerva. "There are some snacks in here for her and she'll probably take a nap soon. She normally sleeps for an hour or two in the afternoon."

Minerva smiled at the little girl in her arms then turned to Harry. "I raised six children of my own, and I have fourteen grandchildren. I'm sure I can handle her for a couple of hours, Harry." She gave him a level gaze as she continued, "Don't worry about her – you concentrate on getting things worked out between you and Severus."

Harry rolled his eyes as he answered, "I'll try, Professor." He glanced over his shoulder in the direction Severus had disappeared. "I wasn't expecting him to… _care_… so much, you know? I thought I would show up, we'd sign whatever paperwork was needed for the divorce and I'd leave again. I never figured he'd want us to try again."

"Don't underestimate the level of his feelings for you, Harry." With those quiet words Minerva left with her young charge.

The door closed with a soft click behind her. Harry leaned back against it as he thought about her words. Maybe he _had_ underestimated Severus, but he still wasn't sure he was ready to completely forgive him yet. There was still the matter of Lucius that needed to be eliminated. He sighed and pushed off the door, going in search of his sulking spouse.

He knocked on the closed bedroom door and waited a minute before slowly opening it. The room was dark with no sign of Severus. Harry waved his wand and the lights flickered on, giving him a chance to look around.

He remembered his astonishment when he first saw this room. Given Severus' penchant for wearing unrelieved black, Harry'd expected his bedroom to be decorated in the same manner. Instead, although most of the furniture in the suite was a rich mahogany, the atmosphere was lightened by the cream and gold duvet and bed curtains. Harry smiled when he spotted the light-colored chaise sitting near the fireplace – he and Severus had spent many an hour lying on it, sharing their dreams with each other as well as making love.

Harry walked over and lightly ran his fingers along the upholstery of the chair. Severus' green silk robe was thrown casually over the back and he picked it up and sat down. Letting the soft fabric glide through his fingers, he felt the tears burning at the back of his eyes. He was so confused – part of him wanted to rush into Severus' arms and forget everything that had happened while the other part wanted to flee back to America. Burying his face in the robe on his lap, he allowed the tears to flow as his emotions took over.

Severus entered his bedroom and paused in the doorway, surprised to find Harry there crying. He watched him for a second then moved over and sat down beside his spouse, wending his fingers through Harry's unruly hair.

Harry sniffed as he raised his tear-stained face, green eyes meeting haunted black as the two men stared at each other. Harry closed his eyes when Severus drew his fingertips down his moist cheeks.

"Oh Harry, I'm _so_ damnably sorry for everything that's happened," Severus whispered. "You're the last person in the world that I ever wanted to hurt." He hated the distress he saw in his husband's eyes and wanted desperately to erase it.

"Why, Severus? Why did you do it?" Harry asked brokenly. "Was I not enough for you?" He stared down at the damp robe as his fingers twisted nervously in the silk. "I thought we were happy together."

Severus grasped Harry's chin and turned his face toward him, forcing him to meet his gaze. "Harry, I want you to believe me when I say that we were happy – I love you. I probably always will."

"Then _why_? And why _Lucius_ of all fucking people?"

Raking his fingers through his hair, Severus paused then confessed, "I never told you this, but Lucius was my first… lover. During my seventh year, my father insisted that I attend a few Death Eater functions in anticipation of my taking the mark. Lucius was six years older than I, and had been active in the Dark Lord's inner circle for several years, so naturally he was in attendance at these gatherings. I was… dazzled by him and when he turned his attention toward me, I quickly fell in love."

Harry swallowed then forced himself to ask, "Did he fall in love with you as well?"

Severus shook his head jerkily. "No, I don't think so. It was a… game to him – he enjoyed having me following him around like a lovesick puppy." He stretched out his hand and tangled his fingers with Harry's. "I made a fool of myself, chasing after him the way I did."

"Did Albus know?" Harry tightened his grip on Severus' hand as he waited for the answer.

"Harry, _everyone_ knew." Severus gave a short, bitter laugh. "I didn't bother hiding my crush on him and he and my father used it to ensure my… cooperation. They insisted that I take the mark as soon as I left Hogwarts." He leaned forward, allowing his hair to shield his face.

Harry gently brushed the strands behind Severus' ear, trying to comfort him. He knew this conversation was necessary, as painful as it was. "Severus, you never told me why you left Voldemort's service and came back to Dumbledore. Will you please?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, Severus wavered before answered Harry's question. The thought of that night still nauseated him even after twenty-four years. Drawing a breath deep in his lungs then exhaling, he calmed himself and said, "I was nineteen at the time and the Dark Lord assigned me my first mission. I was supposed to torture and kill a family of Muggleborns that evening. Lucius and Walden Macnair accompanied me, most likely to guarantee my success. When we got there, we rounded up the children and led them into their parents' bedroom." He closed his eyes as he remembered the terrified expressions on the family's faces. "I… I tried to follow through with my orders, but… I couldn't… I looked at those children and I couldn't do it. I froze."

Harry continued to run his fingers through the sable hair as Severus collected himself. Severus arched into the touch, welcoming the soothing gesture. "Lucius and Macnair completed the job then took me back to the Dark Lord. I was… punished by him and then he offered me to the other Death Eaters, who took their turns at me. Lucius stood there and… laughed before he… he raped me. They didn't release me until morning." He looked up and met Harry's steady gaze. "I returned to Hogwarts that day, and after Pomfrey healed me, I denounced the Dark Lord to Albus. He offered me the teaching position at Hogwarts as well as a chance to redeem myself by spying for him."

Harry frowned as he considered what Severus had just told him. The various snippets of information he'd heard since his return, along with Severus' confession, added up to a picture he didn't like. "Severus, whose idea was it for you to resume your affair with Lucius?"

Severus quietly stated, "Albus."

"That _bastard_!" Harry jumped up from the chaise and began pacing the floor. That fact that Albus sent Severus back to the Death Eaters even though he knew what had happened to Severus was unbelievable. Harry's magic crackled about him, filling the air with jolts of unseen energy as his fury increased with every step.

Severus watched the younger man as he moved about the room, bemused by his reaction. The anger toward Albus was unexpected – it was almost as though Harry still cared about him. Hope, an emotion he hadn't felt since Harry's departure, began to settle in his heart.

Suddenly, Harry swirled around and dropped to his knees in front of Severus. He gripped his husband's thighs with his hands as he demanded, "Do you feel anything toward Lucius?"

"No, Harry." Severus shook his head as he cupped Harry's cheek with his palm. "There's only one person I love and he's right here in front of me."

"Then it stops – now!"

"But Harry…"

Harry hissed fiercely, "No, Severus. You are not going back to Lucius, do you hear me? I won't allow it." His hands tightened on Severus' legs as he continued, "Albus had no right to send you to him, not after what he did to you."

Severus tried to argue, "Maybe not, but the Order needs the information I gather for them, Harry. Albus feels…"

"Fuck Albus and fuck the Order! If they want me to cooperate with my so-called destiny, then they'll find some other way to spy on Voldemort." Harry touched his forehead to Severus' knee as he whispered, "I've lost too much to that madman. I won't lose you as well. I can't."

Severus caressed the bowed head and softly promised, "All right, Harry. It's finished."

"Thank you, Severus." Harry raised his head and met his husband's eyes. "Our daughter deserves to have her fathers, _both_ of them. You two need a chance to get to know each other."

Severus frowned at the reminder of Dria's reaction to him. "It didn't go very well earlier today. I frightened her."

Chuckling as he slid up to sit on the chaise beside Severus, Harry teased, "Severus, you frightened me the first time I saw you and I was _eleven_! Give her time to get used to you, please?"

"What about Josh?"

"What about him?"

Severus gave Harry an exasperated look as he stated, "It seems she's very fond of him – you too. What role does he play in all of this?"

Harry chewed on his lip as he thought about the American. He knew that Joshua wanted him, but he didn't feel the same way. His return to England had shown him that he still loved Severus. However, he wasn't quite ready to confess his feelings to his husband – he needed a bit more time yet. "Joshua is a friend, nothing more. We've spent a lot of time together since we met at my birthday party, and he's interested in deepening the relationship, but… I don't return his feelings."

"Harry, do… do we have a chance?"

Harry smiled faintly at Severus. "I think so, but not right now. Let's take it slowly, please?"

Severus leaned over and placed a tender kiss on Harry's cheek. "We'll take as much time as you need, Harry, as long as I know there's a possibility of you coming back to me." He smirked, "I assume I'll need to court both you and Dria in order to win you two."

"That sounds like an excellent plan, Severus. However, I'm warning you, we both have high expectations of you. Romantic dinners for two, play dates at the park – we demand only the best, you know." Harry grinned at his spouse.

Severus laughed as he stood, drawing Harry to his feet and close to his body. "It will be my pleasure, Harry."

Harry stood on his tiptoes and quickly kissed Severus' lips. "Now I need to go rescue Professor McGonagall from the little terror. Owl me at the Leaky Cauldron, okay?" Once Severus agreed, Harry gave him another soft kiss and quietly left the dungeon to find his daughter.

October 24, 2001 – The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, England

"Mrs. Weasley, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help right now. I really need to find a place for Dria and me to stay – the room at the Leaky Cauldron starts feeling small when you're cooped up with a toddler." Harry smiled gratefully at Molly as she moved about the kitchen, preparing some tea for her visitors.

"Phfft, think nothing of it, dear. Dria is absolutely precious and as you can see," Molly gestured toward the backyard, where Ginny was entertaining Dria, "Ginny is completely smitten with her." She poured two cups of tea then brought them over to the table where Harry was sitting.

Harry watched Ginny and Dria for a while, wishing he had brought his camera. Ginny was levitating autumn leaves into piles, then she and the baby would jump into them, giggling as the leaves scattered. He laughed as the game changed to hide and seek. Dria buried herself in a pile, then Ginny pretended she couldn't find her. Dria popped out and pounced on Ginny, throwing her petite arms around her neck and hugging her.

"She means the world to me, Mrs. Weasley. I can't imagine not having her." Harry sipped his tea then reached for a biscuit from the plate Molly had just set down.

"Yes, I know what you mean. I feel the same way about all my children, even the twins, though they led me on a merry chase when they were younger." Molly sat down beside Harry and reached for her cup as she casually asked, "So, has Severus gotten to see her yet?"

Harry nodded his head. "Yes, last Sunday. It didn't go well, to say the least. I think we'll try again tomorrow, provided I can find a place to stay." He fidgeted with his cup as he admitted, "We're going to try again. He's promised to give me time and court me, as well as woo Dria."

"I'm glad, Harry. You two need some time to work things out. It's obvious that you both still love each other." Molly leaned over and patted Harry on the hand.

"I know, even though I haven't told him that. I understand his reasons behind his actions, but the hurt is still there."

"It'll fade, Harry. The important thing is that you're both trying."

"You're right." Harry drained his teacup and stood up. "If I'm going to find us a home, I need to get going. Don't let Dria terrorize you too much, Mrs. Weasley." He kissed her on the cheek and walked outside to Apparate to the first flat on his list.

Several hours later, Harry frowned down at the parchment in his hands, frustrated with his lack of success. Every flat on the list had something major wrong with it and he didn't know what he was going to do now. He really wanted to move he and Dria out of the Leaky Cauldron as soon as possible, but he'd looked at every available place in Hogsmeade and nothing suited their needs.

He wearily entered The Three Broomsticks and found an empty booth near the front windows. He slid into the seat with a grateful sigh and waved at Madam Rosmerta, smiling when she waved back. She soon made her way over to his table.

"Harry! It's so good to see you again." Madam Rosmerta patted him on his shoulder as she greeted him, then asked, "What can I get you today?"

Harry quickly perused the menu. "Hmm, how about some steak and kidney pie and a butterbeer, Madam Rosmerta."

"Coming right up, Harry." Madam Rosmerta hurried off toward the kitchen to put in his order.

Harry slumped down in his seat as he rubbed his face with his hands. Today's expedition had been a failure and he was stymied over his next move. He propped his elbow on the table and leaned his chin in his palm as he stared out of the window. The streets were bustling as the various wizards and witches went about their business. Harry idly watched as several young children scampered down one of the side roads, chasing each other in a rousing game of tag. Suddenly, Harry straightened up and smacked himself on the forehead.

"What an imbecile I am. I completely forgot about the cottage." He and Severus had purchased a small cottage on the outskirts of Hogsmeade before their wedding – maybe he and Dria could stay there for the time being.

After he finished his lunch and paid, Harry exited the pub and briskly walked toward the cottage. His steps slowed as he approached the front gate – the cottage had an air of neglect about it that saddened him. The pathway from the gate to the front door was overgrown with weeds; one of the shutters was crooked, hanging on one hinge and several shingles were missing from the roof.

Harry pushed open the gate and carefully made his way down the path. The front steps creaked under his weight as he mounted them and placed his hand on the door. He uttered the password 'Peace', and the lock clicked open.

The inside of the building was as depressing as the outside, Harry decided as he entered the sitting room. A thick layer of dust covered the furniture and huge cobwebs hung in the corners. He crossed to the window and pushed aside the curtain. The glass was so covered in dirt that he could barely see out. He allowed the curtain to drop, coughing as a cloud of dust puffed out from the fabric, then walked into the small kitchen.

Harry frowned at the sight of dirty dishes sitting in the sink; he then gave a small gasp as he realized why they were there. On the day he'd discovered Severus and Lucius here, he'd arrived shortly after breakfast. Severus must have left the cottage once he'd figured out that Harry had been there, leaving everything as it was.

Leaving the filthy kitchen, Harry crossed to the bedroom doors. The guest room stood open, showing the same unkempt appearance as the sitting room and kitchen. The door to the master bedroom was closed and Harry tentatively placed his hand on the doorknob. He wasn't sure he was ready to face the memories in there. Taking a step backward, he decided that the room would remain closed for now. He and Dria could sleep in the guest room at first.

Harry gave one last look at the sitting room before nodding. Yes, it would work – he would firecall Hogwarts and request the assistance of Dobby and some of the other house elves in the cleaning and repair of the place. Once that was completed, then he and Dria could move in. He smiled as a wave of emotion swept over him – he was finally home. The door closed quietly behind him as he set off to fetch his daughter and begin the preparations for their move.


	7. Torn

AN: This is the last chapter that is completed - I will try to have additional ones finished every couple of weeks or so.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews.

Torn

_Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit._

Peter Ustinov

October 27, 2001 – Heart's Ease Cottage, Hogsmeade

Harry Apparated into the front yard of his cottage and glanced around, smiling with satisfaction. The past three days had been a lot of hard work, but with the help of Dobby and two other house elves, the place was finally livable again. He carried the last of their luggage into the house and set it down in the front parlor. Molly Weasley had promised to come by around suppertime, bringing Dria back for the evening.

Walking over to the large stone fireplace, he carefully laid several logs onto the grate, then waved his wand, causing the wood to light. The flames licked merrily along the length of wood, gradually warming the cool room.

Harry moved about the room, lighting several lamps. The house elves had polished the wooden furniture until it gleamed in the soft glow of the lamplight. There was a settee and two armchairs arranged in a half-circle around the fireplace, with a small Oriental rug lying in front of the hearth. The small dining room set had been placed near the large window, so they could view the back garden as they ate. A hand carved roll-top desk sat to one side of the fireplace, with a matching chair in front of it.

Harry walked into the guest room where they would be sleeping and placed the suitcases onto the bed. The room was freshly painted, the pale cream color gleaming brightly on the walls. He had purchased a dark green duvet and bed curtains for the cherry wood four-poster and tossed several decorative pillows at the head of the bed. A dark, bentwood rocker sat in one corner, the green and gold brocaded upholstery matching the rest of the décor. Harry had found it the day before in a small antique shop just off Diagon Alley and thought it was perfect for their room.

Dria's crib stood in one corner, near the large wardrobe. It too was a four-poster, a delicate lace canopy draped across the top. All in all, Harry was pleased with the restful atmosphere of the house – he figured he would need it in the upcoming months, as he dealt with Severus and their broken relationship.

Once the last of their clothes were hung up in the wardrobe, he entered the kitchen and rummaged through the refrigerator. Harry had gone to the market earlier in the day and stocked up on enough food to last them for a week or so. After pulling out some chicken, he decided to make some soup. When the base was simmering on the stove, Harry switched on the radio to the Wizarding Wireless Network. The latest hit from the Weird Sisters was playing as he chopped some vegetables for the soup and he was singing along so loudly that he almost didn't hear the knock on the front door.

Wiping his hands on a towel as he made his way into the sitting room, Harry looked down at himself and shrugged. Whoever was there would just have to deal with his faded tee shirt and torn blue jeans. He flung the towel over his shoulder and pulled the door open. "Severus!" he exclaimed, surprised to see his husband standing there.

The other man was facing away from the door, a somber expression on his face as he surveyed the recently restored yard. Severus turned when he heard the squeak of the door hinges and thrust several gaily-wrapped packages at Harry. "Here, these are for Dria."

"Uh, thanks. Would you like to come in?" When Severus nodded, Harry moved aside to allow him to step inside. "Dria's not here right now; Molly's been keeping her while we finished cleaning the cottage. They should be here in a few minutes – would you like to wait?"

"I would like that. Do you mind?"

Harry chuckled as he walked back into the kitchen, Severus trailing behind him. "I wouldn't have asked if I had minded, Severus. Come sit down at the table while I finish preparing supper." He gestured at the small table then picked up the knife and started slicing some carrots. "Give me a second and I'll fix you some tea."

"Allow me." Rather than sitting down, Severus began to move about the kitchen, preparing the tea. Harry tossed in the last of the ingredients into the soup, stirring it one final time before lowering the temperature and placing the lid on the pot. As he cleaned up his mess, Severus set the tea, along with two cups and a plate of biscuits, onto the kitchen table.

Harry sat down across from his husband and poured himself a cup of tea. "Umm, I guess I should have asked you if it was alright for Dria and me to stay here." He reached for a biscuit and nibbled on it nervously.

"It's your house as well, Harry. I'm pleased that you've moved back in – the cottage has been vacant for too long." Severus took a sip of his tea then set down his teacup with a clatter. "I apologize for the state in which you found the place. I… well… I haven't been back since you… left."

"Given the number of cobwebs and the thickness of the dust that we found, that's a given." Harry snorted. He eyed Severus curiously as he asked, "Why haven't you been using the cottage? I know you liked to come here to escape the pressures at Hogwarts."

Severus replied simply, "You weren't here." He steadily met Harry's gaze, allowing the sorrow that he felt to be seen in his dark eyes. "When I realized that morning that you had discovered Lucius and me, I left here – I couldn't face what I had done to you."

Harry nodded, biting his lip as he glanced over at the closed bedroom door. Dobby had undertaken the cleaning of the room, since Harry still couldn't go in there. He knew he would need to face the memories contained within sooner or later, but he wasn't there yet – he wasn't sure when he would be. Deciding to change the subject to something less painful, he picked up one of the gifts, shaking it slightly, then grinned. "Well, whatever is in here rattles, so Dria should love it. She enjoys making as much noise as possible."

"You've done a wonderful job with her, Harry. I only wish…" Severus picked up his teacup again and stared down into the dark beverage. "I wish I could have been there for her as she was growing up – and for you."

"Merlin, Severus – you're going to have a lot of time to get to know her. After all, Dria's only a year and a half old!" Harry reached over and covered one of Severus' hands with his own. "I am sorry you missed out on her birth – it was incredible. She was so small, I was afraid to hold her for fear of breaking her."

Severus twisted his hand, entwining their fingers together. "Dria's _still_ tiny – so delicate looking. She's wonderful, Harry." He looked up and met his husband's eyes. "I'm glad she's taken after you – Merlin knows she didn't deserve to inherit the Snape nose."

"Hey, don't insult your nose, you git. I'm rather fond of it." Harry went to kiss said appendage, but when Severus moved his head, their lips accidentally collided. Harry was quickly caught by the sweetness of the kiss – he didn't want it to end. Eventually though, he reluctantly pulled away and trailed a fingertip along Severus' damp lips. "That was nice."

"Yes." Severus hastily cleared his throat when he heard his raspy reply. He tightened his grip on Harry's hand as he said, "Harry, there's several things that I need to discuss with you. First of all, we need to ensure the wards here at the cottage are as powerful as possible, for your protection as well as Dria's." He brushed a strand of lank hair off his face impatiently and continued, "This place is fairly isolated and with the two of you living out here alone and I want to be assured of your safety."

Harry leaned back with a huff. "Let me guess – Tom Riddle is up to his usual tricks again." After Severus nodded, he tugged his hand free, jumped up and began prowling about the room. "Damn it, when's it going to end? I have Dria to think about now. I don't want to deal with him now – fuck, I've _never_ wanted to face him."

Severus shrugged, not surprised by the bitter tone in Harry's voice. "I understand that, Harry, but you need to face facts. Voldemort is going to continue to pursue you, since you're the one who was named in the prophecy." He got to his feet and grabbed his husband's arm when he passed by him, swirling him to face him. "Harry, we need to consult with the Order – plans must be made."

Closing his eyes in frustration, Harry eventually nodded in agreement. "Fine – can you set it up? The sooner the better, I'm thinking." He opened his eyes, a troubled expression on his countenance. "Albus would be useful in strengthening the wards here, so I need to arrange that as well."

"Yes, I concur. The second thing I wanted to discuss with you – well, ask you, would be more accurate, is…" Severus paused, watching Harry's face carefully to gauge his reaction. "Our third anniversary is this Wednesday, and I would like to take you out for supper."

"Just supper?" Harry asked tentatively.

Severus smiled tenderly at his husband. "I promise to be a complete gentleman and keep my hands off your delectable body." He moved closer to the blushing man, lowering his head until his lips were mere centimeters from Harry's ear and whispered silkily, "However, that pledge only holds for the one night, you understand."

A shiver ran up Harry's spine as Severus' warm breath caressed his skin. "Umm… sure."

"Oh dear, am I interrupting?" Molly's voice held a touch of amusement in it, as she entered the front door with Dria in her arms.

Harry swiftly stepped away from Severus, running his hand over his hair nervously. He darted a look at the other man, who smirked at Harry's embarrassed face then smoothly said, "Of course not, Molly. Harry and I were merely discussing possible supper plans for Wednesday." Severus glanced at Molly, raising an eyebrow questioningly. "Would you be available to watch our daughter that evening?"

Molly's eyes flickered from Harry's bright red features to Severus' smug countenance, then she smiled happily. "Certainly, Severus. Will you be dropping her off at the Burrow, or shall I come here, Harry?"

"I… I… what time would suit you, Severus?"

Severus replied, "I'll make reservations for seven, and will meet you here at the cottage, if that's agreeable with you." After Harry nodded, he turned to the small girl in Molly's arms. Dria was cuddled up close to Molly's shoulder, sucking contentedly on her thumb as she studied him. "Hello, little one."

"Hi." Dria said around her thumb. She glanced at Harry then back at Severus. "You… Papa?"

"That's right, Dria. I'm your Papa." Severus reached out and gently brushed his finger down his daughter's soft cheek. "Did you have fun with Mrs. Weasley today?"

Molly giggled at Dria's confused look. "She's calling Grandma Molly, Severus – she doesn't have the slightest idea who Mrs. Weasley is." She handed the toddler to Harry and kissed her on the forehead. "I need to be going. Arthur will be home soon, and I haven't had a chance to get supper started yet. I'll see you on Wednesday, Harry?"

"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Weasley." Harry placed Dria on the floor then escorted Molly to the door. "I just want to thank you again for watching her these past few days. Things should settle down now that the cottage is finished." He hugged Molly and said, "We'll be by about six, okay?"

"Perfect. Why don't you plan on letting her spend the night? Arthur and Ginny would love to have the chance to spoil her and that way you don't have to rush your evening."

Harry looked over at Severus, blushing slightly as he answered, "That would be nice, Mrs. Weasley."

"Then it's all settled." With a small wave at Dria, Molly walked out, Apparating home as soon as she passed the protective wards on the cottage. Harry closed the door once she was gone then turned around. He grinned when he saw the others.

Severus was seated on the floor, a foot or two away from the little girl. Dria had retrieved a small, brightly colored ball from her toy chest, and the two of them were rolling it back and forth between each other. Dria's aim wasn't very accurate and she giggled merrily when the ball rolled past her Papa's outstretched hand. Severus made a show out of lunging for it, and she plopped down on her butt, excitedly clapping her hands at the sight.

Harry felt his heart lurch as he watched his husband and daughter playing together. He had always suspected that Severus would make a good father, and the guilt he felt from keeping her away from him for the first year and a half of her life was almost overwhelming. His eyes misted, and he blinked rapidly, dispelling the tears. He coughing inaudibly to dislodge the lump in his throat and asked, "Would you like to stay for supper, Severus? It's chicken soup and I believe I have some crusty bread to go with it."

Rising gracefully to his feet, Severus brushed his robes then regretfully shook his head. "Thank you for the invitation, Harry, but I must return to Hogwarts. Several of the fifth year Ravenclaws have detention this evening."

Harry smirked as he teased, "Well, we mustn't keep the dreaded Potions Master from his duties, hmm?"

Severus glowered at him, then snickered. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for your impertinence, Mr. Potter." Reaching down with one hand, he gently tangled his fingers in the curls on Dria's head. "Good night, little one." He stood upright again and kissed Harry lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you on Wednesday – six forty-five sharp." With a whirl of his robes, he quickly exited the homey cottage and headed back to Hogwarts.

Once supper was finished, Harry bathed Dria then carried her into their room. He put a fresh diaper on her and slipped a dainty nightgown over her head before sitting down in the rocking chair. He had lowered the lights in the room and the two of them rested quietly together in the peaceful atmosphere, Harry crooning a soft lullaby to his daughter.

_Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,_

_Lavender's green_

_When you are King, dilly dilly,_

_I shall be Queen_

_Who told you so, dilly dilly,_

_Who told you so?_

_'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,_

_That told me so._

_Call up your friends, dilly, dilly_

_Set them to work_

_Some to the plough, dilly dilly,_

_Some to the fork_

_Some to the hay, dilly dilly,_

_Some to thresh corn_

_Whilst you and I, dilly dilly,_

_Keep ourselves warm._

_Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,_

_Lavender's green_

_When you are King, dilly dilly,_

_I shall be Queen_

_Who told you so, dilly dilly,_

_Who told you so?_

_'Twas my own heart, dilly dilly,_

_That told me so. _

After singing the final line, Harry realized that Dria had fallen asleep, her tiny body a dead weight in his arms. He gently placed her in her crib, covering her with her blanket before dousing the lights completely and leaving the room.

After pouring a glass of lemonade for himself, Harry approached his desk, pulled out parchment, quill and ink and seated into his chair with a tired sigh. Joshua had asked him to keep in touch, and Harry felt he needed to let the other man know about the situation between Severus and himself.

_Mr. Joshua Davenport_

_111 West Rich Street_

_Oceanside, Georgia_

_United States of America_

_Saturday, October 27, 2001_

_Dear Joshua,_

_The trip over went reasonably well. Dria was still suffering from her ear infection, so she was cranky on the flight here, but fortunately, that's cleared up now. She's back to being her usual sunny self, charming everyone she's met thus far._

_We've settled into my old cottage for now. After a week of us staying at the tavern, we are both grateful for the peace and quiet of our own home. It took us several days to get it ready, but the wait was certainly worth it._

_My adopted family came to see us the day after we arrived. It was good to see them again, and I was very lucky in that they seem to have forgiven me for disappearing without a word. Ron and Hermione are expecting their first baby and Ron's parents are looking forward to spoiling their first grandchild rotten. They are practicing their methods on Dria and she's enjoying every minute of it. Now, if I can only prevent her from becoming a holy terror over the whole thing!_

_There has been a change of plans as far as the divorce is concerned. I met with Severus a week ago, and it appears that there were circumstances about our break-up that I didn't know about. He's asked me to postpone filing the divorce papers until after the new year, in order to give us time to attempt a reconciliation._

_Honestly, I'm very confused right now, but I have made the decision to go along with his request. He and I have a lot of history together, even before we were officially a couple, and it's hard just to walk away from it. I also feel I owe it to Dria to try to repair our relationship – she deserves to have both parents in her life._

_I want to apologize to you for putting you in this situation. I will completely understand if you don't want to wait for me – I can't promise you anything other than my friendship. This hasn't been an easy decision for me. Obviously, there are no guarantees that Severus and I will get back together, and we have many problems to work out. However, I must admit that I want to try to repair our marriage._

_Please give Robin a hug for me and tell her and Mike to behave! I miss all of you and look forward to seeing you sometime next year._

_Your friend,_

_Harry_

Harry sealed the parchment and rose to his feet, walking to the back of the cottage. He entered the glass-enclosed porch and made his way over to Hedwig's perch, petting her soft feathers as he spoke. "Hedwig, I need you to take this to Joshua please." She extended her foot and he tied the letter to it with a length of soft leather, then gave her several treats before opening the window. With one quiet hoot, she extended her wings and flew off, disappearing quickly into the night.

After ensuring that the cottage was locked up for the evening, Harry went into his bedroom and prepared for bed. He climbed under the covers and quickly fell into an exhausted sleep.

October 29, 2001—Somewhere in England

Lucius stood calmly in the anteroom, waiting to be called before his Lord. He mentally ran through the information he'd obtained from his agent in America, deciding exactly what and how to tell the Dark Lord what he had learned. The news had been good, and he knew that his Lord would be pleased with him tonight. He turned toward the door as it quietly opened, a robed and masked figure slipping into the room and closing it firmly behind him.

"Lucius, you're wanted within," Walden Macnair stated. "I hope you have something that will make the old bugger happy – he's in a particularly foul mood tonight."

"Ah, Walden, rest assured. By the time I'm through talking with our Lord, he will be in a much better state of mind." Lucius slid his white mask over his head, settling it comfortably across his face. He adjusted his robes one final time and grasped his silver-topped cane firmly in one hand. With a cool nod at his compatriot, he announced, "I'm ready."

Walden opened the door, motioning sardonically for Lucius to precede him into the room. Lucius haughtily sauntered through the entranceway, keeping his gaze firmly upon the reptilian figure ensconced on the throne in front of him. His fellow Death Eaters shifted uneasily and he overheard random comments about what an arrogant prick he was. He smirked behind his mask – this was exactly the effect he wanted. Upon reaching the dais steps, he made an elegant obeisance to his Lord, his head bowed respectfully as he waited for permission to speak.

Voldemort casually stroked Nagini's head as he asked, "My beautiful Luciusss, what have you for me tonight?" His red eyes flickered around the room, observing the movements of the other Death Eaters as they gathered closer, anxious to hear what the man had to say.

"My Lord, the rumors are true – Potter has returned to England." Lucius continued quietly, "There's more, my Lord. It appears the stupid brat brought his daughter with him and they're staying at a small cottage near Hogsmeade."

"Excellent, Luciusss." Voldemort sat back on his throne, a nastily triumphant smile on his snake-like face. "I want him watched conssstantly, making note of everyone he ssseesss, everyone who visitsss him." He turned to his left and addressed Macnair. "Sssend out the messssage, Macnair. Everyone mussst be prepared to move at a momentsss notice.

Macnair bowed as he said, "As you wish, my Lord. If I may be excused." He bowed again then twisted on his heel to leave the throne-room.

"You have done well, Luciusss, very well indeed." Voldemort said to Lucius as he stood up. He placed his hand on the man's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. "Talk to your contactsss at the Minissstry and let them know that the plansss ssshould begin sssoon. Ssshould everything work out, you will be greatly rewarded." With one final squeeze, he swept past the gathered Death Eaters and headed for his rooms.

Lucius allowed the tension to drain from his body – thank Merlin the Dark Lord had been content with his report. Now, he had business to attend to at the Ministry, then he planned on taking his wife out for a celebratory dinner.

He never noticed the dark, glittering eyes that followed him as he left the room.

October 29, 2001—Oceanside, Georgia, United States

Joshua unlocked his door, flipping on the lights in his living room and tossing his briefcase down on the sofa. He crossed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, gulping half of it down in one long draw. Flopping down on the couch, he picked up the remote and began flipping through channels on the TV. It had been a long day at work, and he was tired.

As he idly listened to the latest sport scores, he wondered how Harry and Dria were doing. They had been gone almost two weeks, and he missed them both. Hopefully, Harry's soon-to-be ex-husband wasn't giving him a difficult time over the divorce.

After a quick glance at the clock, he decided to fix a light dinner then go to bed. Joshua was frying an egg on the stove when he heard a faint tapping on his living room window. He pulled back the curtain and was surprised to see Hedwig, perched awkwardly on the sill. He slid the window open and allowed the tired owl inside.

Joshua retrieved a bit of cheese from the kitchen, feeding it to Hedwig as he removed the letter from her leg. He sat on the couch as he cracked open the seal. After he'd rapidly scanned the words, he read them one more time then slumped back on the cushions, staring off into space.

Suddenly, he jumped up to his feet and exclaimed, "Ah, hell no." His movement startled Hedwig, who ruffled her feathers indignantly and flew out the open window. Joshua didn't notice her departure as he went over to his computer and logged on. Within a few minutes, he had reserved a seat on the next flight to London. There was no way he wasn't going to fight for Harry, and the only way he could that was by being in England with him.

An hour later, he locked his front door and picked up his suitcase. Joshua climbed into the waiting taxi and gave the driver instructions to take him to the airport. He would contact his Wizarding friends in London once he'd arrived and ask for their assistance in finding Harry's cottage. Now, all he could do was hope.

October 31, 2001 – Heart's Ease Cottage, Hogsmeade

Harry fastened his dark blue dress robes, fussing with the way the fabric laid over his shoulders. His fingers trembled as he finished and he firmly told himself to get over it. It wasn't as though he'd never been on a date before – there was no reason to be nervous.

Giving up on his hair as a hopeless case, he looked at himself in the mirror, satisfied with what he saw. Harry left the bedroom, stalking through the cottage as he waited for Severus. Dria was spending the night with the Weasleys, and his husband was due at any minute.

Finally, Harry threw himself into one of the armchairs by the fireplace, picking up a book that was lying on the end table and flipping through it in an attempt to distract himself. He kept glancing at the Wizarding clock on the mantel, willing the hand to hurry and move to the setting that stated 'Dinner with Severus'.

When the knock came at the door, he jumped up and rushed over to answer it. "You're late, Se… Joshua!"

"Hello, Harry." Joshua stepped into the cottage with a grin. "Surprise."


	8. Diversions

Diversions

_Beware the fury of a patient man._

John Dryden – 'Absalom and Achitophel'

October 31, 2001 – Hogsmeade

Lucius reread the missive thoughtfully, a frown marring his normally smooth forehead. It was the second time that week that Severus had declined an invitation to meet him at the small flat Lucius kept for their trysts. Something was wrong; he could feel it. Laying the parchment on the table beside his armchair, he leaned back his head against the upholstery to consider the situation.

The first time they'd been together, Severus, although nervous, had been the one interested establishing a liaison with Lucius. Six years younger that himself, and freshly out of Hogwarts, Snape had taken the Dark Mark gladly as a sign of devotion to his older lover. Their relationship lasted a year, ending horribly on the night the Dark Lord forced him to rape Severus.

Later, however, it was Lucius doing the pursuing. His marriage all but over, he'd unobtrusively watched Severus at a Hogwarts Quidditch match over three years ago, reminiscing to himself about their earlier affair. After the game was over, he'd approached the Potions Master, presenting to him the idea of renewing their connection. Reticent at first, Severus finally succumbed to his wiles, although he never fully gave himself over emotionally to his lover. This merely sparked Lucius' interest all the more, prompting him to shower Severus with gifts and attention.

Rising to his feet, Lucius decided to walk up to Hogwarts for a visit. After all, he was still a member of the Board of Governors – it was well within his rights to drop in unannounced. If he happened to run into Severus while there… So be it.

He slung a heavy velvet cape over his shoulders for protection against the sharp autumn winds, and waved his wand, the lights flickering off as he locked up the flat. As he moved out into the main street of Hogsmeade, his silver-topped cane dangling lightly between two fingers, he immediately spotted his intended target. Severus was attired more formally than normal, and Lucius narrowed his eyes at the sight, curious as to what his lover was doing. Crossing the road diagonally, he intercepted Snape, as he was about to enter Honeydukes Sweetshop.

"Severus, what a surprise!"

His face displaying no reaction to the unexpected meeting, Severus returned the greeting quietly. "Lucius. What are you doing here?" He took a small, sideways step toward the shop entryway.

Lucius laid a be-ringed hand on the black-clad arm, stilling Severus' movement. "I went to the flat, wanting to see you tonight." His grip tightening measurably, he lowered his voice, displeasure apparent in his tone. "Imagine my reaction upon receiving your owl. Is there something wrong, Severus? You appear to be avoiding me."

Eyeing the busy street cautiously, Severus shook his head sharply. "I have no intention of having this conversation on a public thoroughfare." He shook off Lucius' hand, and edged closer to the shop. "I will call on you at your mansion – would tomorrow be convenient?"

"No, Severus. What conversation? Explain this to me now!" Lucius insisted harshly.

Severus arched an eyebrow, a doubtful expression on his face. "Are you certain you want to hear this here, and now, Lucius?" When the other man nodded, he continued flatly, "I wish to end our association."

Lucius reared back in shock. "What? Why in Merlin's name do you want to do that?" His gray darkened to the color of cold steel, glittering with fury. "Is there someone else? Is that why you've been so cold lately?"

Severus nodded, an amused smirk on his face.

Grabbing the front of Severus' robes, Lucius viciously jerked him closer until they were standing nose to nose. "You complete and utter bastard. When I think of everything I've done for you… promoting you to our Lord…"

"Unhand me at once, Malfoy," Severus hissed coldly. His face remained blank, but his eyes held a ruthless warning.

"Fine!" Lucius shoved him backward, causing Severus to stumble. "How long? How long have you been slipping from my bed into someone else's?"

Severus took his time as he adjusted his robes, meticulously brushing a bit of imaginary lint from the sleeve. He finally looked up and met Lucius' furious gaze. "Really, Lucius, descending into a jealous snit like an overwrought schoolgirl? I expected so much better from you." Shrugging nonchalantly, as though bored with the dialog, he said, "There's always been someone else, even before we resumed our own sordid little liaison. And when he informed me that I must make a choice between the two of you – well, there really wasn't any contest, as far as I was concerned."

Lucius gripped his walking cane tightly, forcing himself not to strike out at the other man. "Get out of my sight, Snape."

"With pleasure, Malfoy – after all, I have a very pleasant evening ahead of me." Nodding coolly at the fuming man, Severus turned and entered the sweetshop.

Spinning, Lucius strode furiously down the lane toward The Three Broomsticks. The night had become a spectacular fuck-up, and he fully intended to drink himself into a stupor as he plotted revenge on his now former lover.

Nobody made a fool of him. Nobody.

October 31, 2001 – Heart's Ease Cottage, Hogsmeade

"Joshua! What are you doing here?" Harry found himself caught up in a warm embrace by his friend.

Joshua chuckled lightly. "Umm, I guess you wouldn't exactly believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood and decided to drop by?" Shaking his head at Harry's disbelieving look, he confessed, "No, I didn't think so. Actually, I received your letter a couple of days ago – I couldn't just let you get away without a fight."

"Wow, Joshua. I'm flattered, I really am, but…" Harry ruffled his already messy hair in agitation as his eyes once again found their way to the mantel and the Wizarding clock located there. He sincerely hoped that Severus would be even later now, as he didn't want a confrontation between his two suitors ruining the evening. "I know this sounds bad, however, you really picked the wrong time to show up here. Severus is taking me out to dinner for our anniversary."

His face falling slightly, Joshua worried his lower lip with his teeth for a moment before saying, "I understand, Harry. Would tomorrow be better?"

Harry visibly relaxed as he hugged his friend. "Absolutely, Joshua. Where are you staying?"

"I've taken a room in Hogsmeade, at a place called The Two Broomstraws, or something like that." Joshua pushed Harry away and walked over to stand beside the fireplace. He needed to put some space between them before he gave way to his desire and kissed the other man senseless. Harry would not appreciate the breach in their agreement to remain friends until the situation with his husband was resolved, and he didn't want to antagonize him.

Rolling his eyes at Joshua's poor memory, Harry chided fondly, "It's The Three Broomsticks, you git." He opened the front door again, looking at his friend with a rueful expression. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but you've gotta go – now."

Joshua laughed as he headed out. "Okay, alright! I can take a hint." He paused when he reached Harry, and met his shining green eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow." Cupping Harry's cheek with his hand, he tilted his head and lightly brushed Harry's lips in a tender kiss. "Understand one thing, Harry. Although I'm ceding the battlefield to your husband tonight, I have no intention of losing the war. There's nothing I want more than to be your lover."

Leaning into the caress for a moment, Harry conceded that, in different circumstances, he could easily come to love this man. Finally drawing away, he gave Joshua a wistful smile. "Fair enough. Now, until tomorrow." Harry waved goodbye as Joshua walked outside, then shut the door behind his friend and wearily leaned back against it, his hands still on the doorknob. Juggling two paramours was exhausting – he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to hold up under the stress.

As he moved away from the door, the fireplace flared a bright emerald green.

October 31, 2001 – Honeydukes Sweetshop, Hogsmeade

Severus stepped into the store, which was blessedly empty this late in the day. His fingers flexed, almost involuntarily, as they thawed in the warm air. Despite appearances, his encounter with Lucius had thrown him off balance, and he permitted himself a moment to regain his equilibrium.

Even though he'd long since gotten over Malfoy, a small part of him remembered his younger self. He recalled, with some mortification, the overwhelming sense of awe he'd felt at the time, thinking that someone as beautiful as Lucius could be interested in him.

_"Severus."_

_"Umm, hello, Lucius." Severus felt the heat rising in his face, as he twisted in the worn armchair to look at the newcomer. "What are you doing here at Hogwarts?"_

_Lucius gracefully crossed the Slytherin common room, coming to a halt just behind Severus. "I'm here to see you, naturally."_

_Startling as a hand delicately caressed his shoulder, Severus stammered, "Uh… me, Lucius? Why, in Merlin's name?" He gasped when the hand brushed aside his long hair, and a warm puff of breath swept across his neck._

_Teeth nipped at his ear as Lucius chuckled. "I've seen you watching me, your dark eyes following my every move." He ran his tongue lightly along the edge of Severus' ear and asked, "Why is that, Severus? Could it be that you want me, desire me?"_

_Severus melted into the touch, his breath coming in short pants. "Lucius…" he moaned quietly, "I don't… I've never…"_

_"That's alright, Severus. I will give you what you want, if you come with me to the mansion. Follow me, now." Lucius stepped around the armchair and drew an unresisting Severus to his feet and toward the door._

_Shaking his head in confusion, Severus tried to argue. "Seventh years aren't supposed… Dumbledore won't allow me…"_

_"The old fool will never know. My Lord will protect us – soon, he'll be yours as well." Lucius tenderly wrapped an old cloak about the shivering man. "This will please me, and that's what you want, isn't it?"_

_Severus nodded his head. "Yes… yes, I want… you," he whispered, edging closer to Lucius._

_"Then come."_

That had been the first time they were lovers. Severus had reveled in the affair, having been starved for affection in his youth. It had ended the night of his return to Dumbledore, a broken young man of nineteen, having learned firsthand the viciousness that lay just under Lucius' breathtaking exterior.

Sighing, he considered the possibility that there could be, in all likelihood, some serious repercussions from this latest disaster. Severus, however, was confident he would see the signs and be able to forestall them.

He hoped.

Finally forcing his attention back into the present, he strode up to the counter and rang the small bell. Ambrosia Flume ducked out of the storeroom in back, smiling formally when he recognized his customer.

"Ah, Professor Snape. How may I help you, sir?"

"One pound of chocolate frogs, and a pound of your special dark chocolate covered raspberries, please." Snape stood impatiently by the counter as Flume bustled about the shop, collecting his order.

Setting the bag of sweets down in front of his customer, Flume commented slyly, "This brings to mind when you would make this purchase on a regular basis, Professor. I take it that your young husband is back in the area?"

Severus eyed the other man, then shrugged noncommittally. "Perhaps."

"Such an affable young man, he is. So polite, as well." Ambrosia chattered as he rang up the order. "That will be two galleons, seven sickles and four knuts, please."

Handing over the money, Severus picked up the package and secured it in his robes, then pulled out an old-fashioned pocket watch from his waistcoat pocket. Noting he was already several minutes late, he politely requested, "Mr. Flume, would it be possible for me to use your Floo connection. I'm running late for an appointment."

Nodding, Flume gestured toward the back of the store. "Certainly, Professor Snape. This way, if you please."

Severus followed Ambrosia into the stockroom, nodding courteously to Mrs. Flume as he passed where she was sitting, sorting various sweets. "Ma'am."

"Professor."

Moving to the fireplace, Severus pinched a small amount of Floo powder between his stained fingertips, then tossed it into the fire. Speaking low, but clearly, he announced, "Heart's Ease Cottage, Hogsmeade." He then stepped into the Floo, disappearing in a flash of green flames.

Seconds later, he gracefully exited Harry's fireplace, to see his spouse standing near the front door.

"Severus! I wasn't expecting you to arrive by Floo!" Harry hurried over as Severus brushed the soot from his robes.

Handing the sweets bag to Harry, Severus grinned wryly. "I was running behind schedule, so Mr. Flume was kind enough to allow me the use of Honeydukes' fireplace." Licking his lips unconsciously at the sight of his husband, Severus swore, _'This evening is going to be hell. I gave my word to him that I would be a gentleman, but how in Hades am I supposed to keep my hands off him when he insists on looking so gorgeous?'_ "You look… presentable enough to take out in public, Harry," he teased.

Harry blushed at the implied compliment, then looked into the bag with a shy expression on his face. "Severus, you remembered!"

"Of course, I remembered. I haven't forgotten a single thing about you, Harry."

Peeking up at his husband's face through his fringe, Harry swallowed hard at the heat he saw in Severus' dark eyes. Stepping forward instinctively, he gently ran a finger down one pale cheek.

Severus growled at the light touch, turning his face until his lips brushed Harry's fingertips. "Harry, if you want me to keep my promise, we'd better leave – now!"

The husky, silky voice drew Harry inexorably nearer to Severus. "Not before you kiss me," he whispered, his hand sliding across Severus' temple to entangle in the dark locks. "Kiss me, Severus," Harry said again, tugging lightly on his husband's hair, pulling his head down to his own.

Shivering as Harry's agile tongue swept delicately along the outline of his lips, Severus gasped inaudibly, his mouth opening and capturing Harry's in a passionate caress. He locked one arm about the smaller man's waist, lifting Harry until his toes barely touched the floor. He then ran his other hand slowly down Harry's side and around, until he cupped the curve of his ass and pulled him impossibly closer.

Harry never realized they were moving until he felt himself being pressed back into the settee cushions, lost as he was in his swirling emotions. _This_ was what he'd been missing these past few years – Severus' lips on his, coaxing an even greater response from him; Severus' hands on his body, teasing him until he was mindless from passion. He moved restlessly under his husband's weight, arching his body as he desperately sought more contact. "Touch me, Severus… please… oh Merlin!" Tearing his mouth away from Severus', he latched onto the strong neck above him, frantically pressing wispy kisses along it as he savored the intoxicating flavor of his husband's skin. "Sev'rus… love me…" he whimpered.

Severus' passion-fogged brain scarcely registered the sound of Harry's voice, as he worked his hand between their bodies, fumbling with the fastenings of his lover's robes. Harry's low whimper, however, acted like cold water thrown onto a fire – he jerked his upper body up and away from Harry's, staring down at his spouse in horror.

Black hair tousled from where Severus' fingers had wended their way through it, Harry stared back at Severus, his eyes almost black and glowing with desire. "Come 'ere," he murmured, as he tried to pull Severus back down to him. Suddenly, the delicious weight and warmth of his husband's body was gone, and Severus was standing several feet away near the fireplace, panting heavily as he attempted to catch his breath. Sitting up dazedly, Harry looked over at his spouse in confusion. "S'matter, Severus?" he asked.

"Circe, Harry… I swore to you that I wouldn't do this, yet…" snarling, Severus turned to stare into the flames, one hand clenched into a fist and braced on the mantel. "Yet, the minute I touch you, I lose all control…"

Harry unsteadily stood up, cursing his trembling legs as he crossed the room to stand behind the agitated man. Tentatively wrapping his arms about Severus' waist, he laid his cheek against the narrow back and said in a soothing tone, "It's alright, Severus. Did you notice me fighting to get away? Rather, I would say it was my fault – I'm the one who begged for a kiss."

Stiffening his body at Harry's initial touch, Severus slowly felt the tension draining from him as he listened to Harry's words. "Then, I am forgiven for my lapse, Harry?"

Harry grasped the front of Severus' robes, slowly turning him until they were face to face. He smiled tenderly at his husband as he stated, "There's nothing to forgive." Feeling the need to lighten the mood, he then gave a saucy wink as he quipped, "Unless this is your way of getting out of feeding me dinner, of course."

Snorting quietly under his breath, Severus ran his palm over Harry's mussed head, and said quietly, "I missed you so, Harry."

"And I you, Severus." Gently touching his lips to Severus' cheek, Harry pulled away reluctantly and asked, "Now, where are you taking me to dinner?"

Severus stepped backward, glancing at the Wizarding clock as he did. "Since we've missed our reservations at the Crowned Dragon…"

"The Crowned Dragon? That's one of the most expensive restaurants in the Wizarding World, Severus – with a six month waiting list, at least." Harry stared dumbfounded at his husband. "How on earth did you manage that?"

Chuckling, Severus raised an eyebrow. "I only had to mention your name, Harry."

Harry punched Severus lightly on the arm. "You git! Well, although I would have loved to go there for dinner, it would have been way too expensive."

Severus quietly stated, "You're worth it, Harry. This is our third anniversary, after all. Even though we are separated, I want to celebrate the night we were married." He reached up and brushed the corner of Harry's eye with his thumb, where a single tear trembled, then held out his arm gallantly. "Shall we? I believe we should go to that little Italian place where we ate the night I proposed."

Laying his hand on the extended arm, Harry smiled up at his husband. "That sounds wonderful, Severus. Let's go."

October 31, 2001 – The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade

The honey-colored liquid swirled in his glass as Lucius stared vacantly around the bar. He was halfway through his second bottle of mulled mead, and he fully intended to finish it, and possibly several more, before the evening was done.

Having come up with, and discarded, several plans for wreaking his revenge against Severus, Lucius acknowledged that the man wouldn't be easy to hurt. A loner, Severus had no one to use as a tool against him. He also wasn't a man who would break quickly under physical torture. Lucius was at a loss.

Madam Rosmerta walked by the table, holding a tray filled with empty glasses, and paused. "You might want to go easy on that mead, Mr. Malfoy. You'll be regretting it in the morning."

"Leave me be, Rosmerta, and make sure the others do as well," Lucius growled, downing the drink in his glass. He reached an unsteady hand out and grasped the bottle, pouring himself another stiff drink.

Nodding coolly at her intoxicated customer, Rosmerta crossed the room and began clearing off the bar.

The door to the pub opened, and a young blond man walked in, shedding his coat as he closed the door. Lucius glanced up, dismissing the man as someone unimportant, then returned his attention to his mead.

"Good evening, Madam Rosmerta," the man greeted the barkeep in an American accent.

Rosmerta smiled at the handsome man as she said, "Why, hello, Mr. Davenport. Did you manage to find Heart's Ease alright?"

Lucius swiveled his head slowly toward the bar, mindful of his impending headache, when he recognized the name of Severus' small cottage. Could it be that this uncouth American, who was most likely a Muggle given the way he was dressed, was the person for whom Severus had thrown him over? He narrowed his eyes at the man, as he listened carefully to the conversation.

"Yes, thanks to your directions, Madam. Many thanks for that, by the way. How long before my room is ready?" Joshua asked.

"Not more than a half hour, Mr. Davenport. I do apologize for the wait." Rosmerta held up an empty glass as she offered, "A drink on the house for your trouble, Mr. Davenport."

Joshua smiled and shook his head. "No, thank you anyway. I believe I'll just walk around town while I wait. I've never been to Hogsmeade before – it's seems like a nice little town."

Rosmerta chuckled at the statement. "Well, we're rather fond of it, but it doesn't quite compare to London." She leaned over across the bar as she warned, "Stick to town, Mr. Davenport. There has been a lot of Death Eater activity around here, and we wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"No problem, Madam Rosmerta," Joshua agreed easily as he slid on his coat again. He gave a jaunty little wave then exited the tavern.

Lucius stood up, tossing several galleons down on the table to cover his tab, and carefully followed Joshua from the building. He stayed far enough away so the American wouldn't notice he was being tracked, but close enough so he wouldn't lose him in the dark.

Joshua strolled down High Street, casually window-shopping as he went. The Wizarding town was interesting to him, and he marveled at the different things the merchants offered for sale. His feet unknowingly brought him to the unlit pathway that let to Harry's cottage, and he hesitated as he stared in the direction of the unseen building. He hoped that he would eventually win Harry's love, but feared that the hopefully soon to be ex-husband would provide too much competition.

Lucius cautiously moved within striking distance, drawing out his wand as he did. With a subtle flick of his wrist, he called out, "Stupefy," watching emotionlessly as Joshua's body slowly toppled over with a thud.

Walking over to the unmoving man, Lucius placed his hand on Joshua's arm and Disapparated them both to his home.


	9. Dangerous Games

Dangerous Games

_Impia sub dulci melle venena latent.  
(Deadly poisons are concealed under sweet honey.)  
_Ovid – 'Amorum'

November 1, 2001 – Malfoy Mansion, Wiltshire

Lucius lounged back in his chair with a snifter of brandy cradled to his chest and an enigmatic smile on his lips. He contemplated the fire as he sipped his drink, already rehearsing his speech to his Lord. If everything went as planned in the next few days, Voldemort would be able to defeat Potter and Lucius would finally have his revenge upon Snape.

When the door to his study opened, Lucius turned his head languidly to look at the newcomer. He rose to his feet and held out a hand in a welcoming gesture. "Ah, my dear. You look lovely tonight. That robe enhances your colouring immensely."

Narcissa gave a small smile, acknowledging the compliment as she allowed her husband to assist her to the settee. She accepted the glass of wine Lucius offered her, then waited until he was ensconced in his chair again before stating, "Your guest is awake and giving the house elves a bit of trouble. Perhaps you should consider another lesson in acceptable behaviour."

Shaking his head, Lucius said contemptuously, "Muggles are notoriously bad mannered, my dearest. You should know that. I am doing my best with our visitor, but unfortunately, he's being obstinate and refuses to cooperate." He raised his glass and took another sip, savouring the flavour and burn of the liquor. "I'm planning on a new session with him shortly."

"That's probably a good idea, my love." Narcissa peeked at her husband from under her lashes as she slowly ran her free hand down across her breast, pulling her sapphire-blue robes taut against her still-willowy figure. Lucius was planning something, and since he was being unusually closed-mouth about his schemes, she was going to use all her available weapons.

Lucius watched his wife's movements, his amusement hidden beneath hooded eyes. He remained silent, waiting to see what she would do next.

Narcissa sighed quietly when her teasing failed to provoke a response from him. She raised her glass to her lips and decided to change tactics. "I had lunch with Pansy today. It's so pleasant to have a daughter-in-law with whom one can gossip."

"And what did the _young_ Mrs. Malfoy have to say?" Lucius taunted, enjoying the flush that crept up on Narcissa's pale cheeks when the barb hit home.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Narcissa replied, "Well, the most exciting news is that's she and Draco are finally expecting. According to Pansy, the baby is due around the first of June." Narcissa smiled softly at the thought of a new addition to the family. She'd only been able to have the one, and was looking forward to spoiling Draco's child.

"Hmm, it's about time Draco realized the duty he owes to the Malfoy name. Hopefully the child will be a boy."

Narcissa narrowed her eyes when she heard the hard edge in Lucius' voice. "That's not fair, Lucius. You know how hard they've tried to have a child. If it hadn't been for that potion that Severus brewed for them..." Ah, interesting. If she hadn't been watching Lucius so carefully, she might have missed that slight flinch. Narcissa smiled sweetly and observed, "We owe Severus so much, don't we, Lucius?"

Standing up abruptly, Lucius crossed the room to the door. He turned, one hand on the doorknob, and snarled, "You're playing a dangerous game, my dear." He allowed the warning to sink in for a moment. "Do give my regards to MacNair when you see him tonight. Have a pleasant evening."

Snapping the door shut firmly, Lucius strode down the hallway to the stairs leading to the dungeons. He cursed himself for allowing Narcissa to goad him about Severus. He should have his emotions under better control than that, and his last dig had definitely been uncalled for. Lucius couldn't care less that his wife was sleeping with MacNair – in fact, politically speaking, it had proven to be beneficial for the Malfoy family. As long as she was discreet about the affair, he would continue to turn a blind eye to it. However, taunting her about it had shown Narcissa that she had struck a sore point with him, giving her a momentary advantage.

He firmly pushed the matter aside for now. There would be time enough to deal with Narcissa once the Dark Lord ruled the Wizarding World, with his most trusted advisor at his side.

Lucius unlocked and unwarded the cell where his prisoner was being kept. He stepped inside, smiling cruelly at the look of fear on the man's face. "Good morning, Mr. Davenport. I believe it's time we had another little chat, don't you?"

November 1, 2001 – Heart's Ease Cottage, Hogsmeade

Harry stretched languorously on the bed, keeping his eyes closed and enjoying the slight ache in his muscles. A warm arm was draped across his chest and he snuggled back into the firm body behind him. He grinned as he rubbed his ass against the stiffening prick – despite making love twice during the night, it seemed that his husband was up for more. Finally opening his eyes, he twisted his head around, meeting Severus' worried gaze with a loving smile. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." Severus traced a fingertip down Harry's cheek before giving him a tender kiss. "Harry, I..."

Harry laid his hand over Severus' mouth. "Shhh, don't say it. Nothing happened that I didn't want – you should know that." He wriggled around until he was facing his husband. "In fact..." he whispered with an impish grin, one hand trailing down Severus' body to his hard cock. Firmly gripping it, he stroked it slowly up and down as he leaned over and captured Severus' mouth with his own.

"Harry..." Severus moaned into his mouth before deepening the kiss, his hand cupped tightly around Harry's neck. Their tongues slid wetly, hotly, against each other, exploring and reacquainting themselves. Severus sucked Harry's lower lip into his mouth, nipping lightly down on it before he released it completely and began nibbling his way down Harry's neck. He found the sensitive spot at the juncture of Harry's neck and shoulder and bit hard, sucking on it until his lover was writhing wildly against him.

The next minute, Severus was surprised to find himself flat on his back, Harry straddling his thighs with a broad grin on his face. Harry leaned over and pressed a wet kiss just above Severus' nipple. "You tortured me last night, Severus. It's my turn now." With that, Harry began to kiss and bite Severus' chest, finally drawing a pebbled nipple into his mouth and sucking. Severus arched off the bed, moaning incoherently as white-hot desire flooded his body. He was soon lost in sensations, Harry's mouth and hands seeming to be everywhere at once.

When Harry at last sank down onto Severus' hard prick, engulfing him in his hot, tight body, Severus gripped Harry's hips and drove his hips upward. He adjusted the angle of his thrusts slightly, and smiled when Harry threw his head back, bowing his body and keening softly. "Merlin, Harry, I love you!"

Harry braced his hands on Severus' shoulders, bending down to kiss his husband. "I... I love you too, Severus," he gasped as Severus encircled his cock with his palm and tugged. "Oh... oh, God... _more_, Sev'rus!" Severus twisted his hand on the upward glide, running his thumb roughly across the damp slit several times, and was rewarded when Harry clamped down on him, his body tensing in orgasm. Thick streams of pearly white liquid coated his hand and stomach, and Severus jerked his hips up into Harry's trembling body at the sight, overwhelmed as the muscles in Harry's ass constricted around him. His balls pulled up tight against his body and his vision darkened as he came.

As he came to, he became aware of Harry's limp body slumped heavily over him. Severus gently slid out of his husband and eased him onto his side. Severus brushed back the fringe off Harry's forehead and smiled tenderly when the green eyes fluttered open. "Hey."

Harry grinned at him. "Haven't we had this conversation already this morning? Are you okay?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. You passed out there at the end."

"So did you," Harry retorted, wrapping his arms tightly around Severus' torso. "Merlin, Severus, that was... fantastic."

"Hmmm," Severus hummed, kissing Harry lightly on the cheek and climbing out of bed. "I hate to leave you, but I have class in an hour."

Harry got to his feet as well. "That's all right – I have to go over to the Burrow and fetch Dria." He followed Severus into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "Are you coming by tonight?" he asked, a bit tentatively, as he waited for the water to warm.

Severus wrapped his hand around Harry's arm, pulling him close. He stared down into Harry's eyes, shocked to see the nervousness there. "I'd like that, if you're not tired of me." He pressed his body tightly against Harry's, dropping wispy kisses on Harry's bare shoulder.

Harry's eyes grew heavy with desire. "Never. I'll never get tired of you." He laughed when Severus pushed him under the water spray, shaking his head to clear his face of water drops.

"Get in there, you little monster, and stop trying to distract me," Severus growled as he joined Harry in the shower.

"Oi, you were the one doing the distracting," Harry whined, picking up the soap and quickly lathering his body. He handed the bar to his lover and grabbed the shampoo. "Don't forget to use this, you greasy git!" he teased.

Severus smacked him on one rounded ass cheek. "Behave, brat." He shampooed his hair and after rinsing off, stepped out onto the mat. As he towelled off, he glanced over at Harry, a serious look on his face. "You realize we need to talk about this, don't you?"

Harry shrugged and grabbed a towel, drying himself briskly. "I know. Why don't you come over for dinner tonight, and after Dria's in bed, we can discuss everything."

"That sounds good." Severus kissed Harry quickly and went back into the bedroom to dress. He didn't have time for much breakfast, so he walked into the kitchen as he fastened the last buttons on his robes and made some toast. He was buttering the last slice when Harry entered, hugging him loosely about the waist.

"Did you make enough for me?"

Severus handed Harry his and the two men quietly munched on their makeshift breakfast as they walked outside and down the path to the Apparition point. Harry stretched up and pecked Severus on the chin. "I'll see you tonight then. Love you." At Severus' nod, Harry grinned and they both Apparated away, Severus to Hogwarts and Harry to the Burrow.

November 1, 2001 – The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, England

When Harry appeared at the Burrow, he could hear his daughter's laughter from behind the house. He walked around the corner and grinned, leaning against the side of the building while he watched the twins and Ginny playing with Dria. One of them had brought out a beginner's snitch, and George had Dria on his shoulders as they chased the snitch around the garden.

Molly was seated on a nearby bench, knitting something gaudy as she kept a careful eye on the players. She glanced over at Harry and with a bright smile, gestured for him to join her. As he approached, she scooted over to one end of the bench and laid her bag of yarn on the ground near her feet, giving Harry enough room to sit beside her. "How are you, dear?"

"Wonderful, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Was Dria good for you?"

She gave a happy sigh. "Dria's an angel, Harry. She didn't misbehave at all."

"Daddy! Lookee me!"

Harry laughed and waved at his daughter as she and George raced by. "You need to teach me the spell you used then, because she's _always_ getting into something at home."

"Pfft, she's a good girl." Molly held up her knitting. "I'm making her a blanket. She helped me pick out the colours last night."

Harry eyed the misshapen blob, hiding his involuntary flinch. "I'm sure she'll love it."

Molly peeked at him out of the corner of her eye and asked casually, "So, how did things go last night?" She grinned when Harry's cheeks turned a fiery red. "Well, I'm guessing from your reaction. I'm glad, you both deserve it."

"Yes, well..." He flashed her a bright grin. "We're going to talk tonight after dinner, but yeah, the date went well." As George neared them again, he called out, "Hey, guys, playtime's over." George hefted Dria up and over his head, flying her over to Harry's outstretched arms. "Hi, little girl."

Dria gave him a sloppily wet kiss on his lips. "Dria play'n kidditch, Daddy. See me?" She cuddled down onto his chest, his chin resting on her head.

"Yes, sweetie, Daddy saw you playing Quidditch. Did you catch the snitch?"

"Yep, me caught it." Dria lifted her head and giggled. "Feath'rs tickled me."

Harry stood up with a smile. "Did they? Was it like this?" he asked, running his fingers lightly along her side, making her squirm and wiggle as she laughed. "Ready to go home, Dria?"

"Yep, go home."

Turning to Molly, Harry grinned. "Thanks for watching her, Mrs. Weasley. Both Severus and I appreciate it." He waved and walked around to the front of the Burrow. "Okay, Miss Dria, we're going to do some magic now, all right? Close your eyes, and when you open them again, we'll be at home."

"'kay, Daddy." Dria closed her eyes and then promptly opened them again. "Not home, Daddy," she announced sadly.

Harry chuckled. "We'll try again, okay? Now, close your eyes and don't open them until I tell you." When Dria closed her eyes again, Harry Apparated them back to the cottage. He glanced up at the house and was surprised to see Joshua sitting on the steps. "Hello, Joshua," Harry called out, placing Dria down on the ground next to him.

"Dosh!" Dria cried, and took off running.

Joshua stood up and caught Dria as she pelted toward him, tossing her high into the sky. "Hello, Dria. I missed you." He settled her onto his hip and looked over at Harry. "I missed you, too."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Josh, you saw me last night." He walked past his friend and daughter and opened the house. "Come on in." He shut the door after Joshua and Dria entered, smiling fondly at them as Dria chattered at Joshua, and then asked, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Sounds good," Joshua murmured, not turning his attention away from Dria. "She's grown a bit since I saw her last." He continued to stare at the little girl, making Harry a bit uneasy.

Harry gently took her from his friend, setting her down onto the floor with her toys. "Yes, she has," Harry replied as he headed into the kitchen. He paused in the doorway to look back over his shoulder. Joshua was now sitting near Dria on the floor, an intent look on his face as he watched her play. He held what looked to Harry to be an old coin in one hand, caressing it lightly with his thumb and occasionally shaking his head, as though to clear it. "Are you all right, Joshua?"

Joshua looked up at Harry with a rueful grin. "Yeah, I just have a bit of a hangover. I was feeling sorry for myself, with you gone on a date with your husband, and I kinda had too much to drink. I'll be fine." By the time he'd finished speaking, his attention had drifted back to Dria.

Still hesitating, Harry asked, "Do you want something for it?"

"Naw, the coffee will do the trick." Joshua reached over and pulled Dria onto his thigh. He ran his fingers through her curls and gave a gentle smile.

Harry pushed away his misgivings and turned back to the kitchen. Joshua and Dria's voices drifted through the open door while Harry brewed the coffee and prepared a cup of juice for Dria. After checking the pantry, he decided a plateful of biscuits would be a good addition to their snack, and then he arranged everything onto a tray before he walked back into the sitting room.

"Here we go," he called out as he placed the tray onto a low table near the sofa. Dria climbed off Joshua's lap and hurried over, grabbing her cup with one hand and a biscuit in the other. Harry poured two cups of coffee and handed one to Joshua, who had crawled over to sit beside the table. Harry looked carefully at his friend to see what he'd been holding earlier, but the coin was nowhere to be seen.

"So, how did your date with your husband go?" Joshua asked, refusing to meet Harry's eyes.

Harry bit his lower lip for a second before he said gently, "Really well, Joshua. We're... we're going to try, see how things go." He laid one hand on Joshua's shoulder and frowned when it was jerked away from his grasp. "I'm sorry, Joshua, I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but..."

Joshua inhaled sharply and shook his head. "I had a feeling... last night, you looked so happy, but I knew it wasn't for me." He glanced briefly at Harry with a sad expression on his face before he looked back down at his cup. "He's the one who makes you happy, and... I'll be okay with that, eventually." His hands began to shake violently and hot coffee splashed over the rim onto his lap. "Damn, that hurts!"

Harry jumped up from the sofa. "I'll get a towel." He hurried into the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers until he found a clean dishtowel then walked back toward the sitting room.

As he entered, Harry overheard Joshua mutter, "Time to go, little one. Somebody wants to meet you." He glanced up in time to see Joshua, Dria hugged tightly to his side, activate a Portkey. The next instant, both were gone.

"FUCK!" Harry yelled, dropping the towel onto the floor and running over to the fireplace. He threw in a handful of Floo powder in and called out, "Albus Dumbledore's office, Hogwarts." When the fire flared green, he took a deep breath and stepped inside.

November 1, 2001 – No. 12 Grimmauld Place, London, England

"What is the plan, Albus?" Minerva asked quietly. "We cannot sit here and do nothing and we certainly can't send Harry into what is most likely a trap."

Harry stared down at his right hand, which was entwined with Severus' left one. His patience was wearing thin and even though he knew the Order meant well, their constant debating was driving him mad. He absently rubbed his thumb over the silver ring on Severus' finger and drew in a shuddering breath.

Severus leaned over, whispering in his ear, "Harry, you need to calm down."

He glanced up at Severus, green eyes damp with suppressed emotions. "I... I just can't believe Joshua would take her. And who in the hell put him up to it? He's only been in England a day or two."

"Severus?" Dumbledore's voice cut through their whisperings.

Severus looked over at him, one eyebrow arched. "Yes, Albus?"

Albus steepled his fingers, his sombre blue gaze flitting between Severus and Harry. "There have been Muggle rumours about increased activity around the Riddle House. Is it possible Voldemort is basing his activities there?"

Severus shook his head. "Not all the time, Albus, no. There have been some meetings there, but the Death Eaters have also gathered at the Malfoy mansion as well as a deserted farmhouse near Edinburgh. And honestly, they could be hiding in three or four other areas as well."

Sighing, Albus plucked thoughtfully at his beard. "Then we must investigate all of the possibilities. Severus, will you write up a list of the different sites, please? We'll split up into teams and head out immediately." He stood and looked about the room. "Let us take a short break and when we come back, I will assign the teams then. Molly, would you mind making some tea for everyone?"

Molly nodded and stood. As she passed Harry and Severus, she paused long enough to give them both quick hugs.

Harry smiled shakily up at her then moved closer to Severus. "I'm going to Apparate home for a moment. I... I need a few minutes away from everyone."

"Would you like me to come with you?" Severus asked. He placed his hand on Harry's back and slowly rubbed it. When Harry nodded, he continued, "Let me give the list to Albus, then we can go, all right?"

"Okay," Harry whispered. "Hurry, please. I have to get out of here."

Severus gave him a gentle kiss as he stood. He walked over to Albus and the two men spoke quietly for a few minutes. Albus then produced a blank piece of parchment from deep within his robes and handed it to Severus. Severus quickly wrote out a few lines, re-read it and gave it back to Albus before he crossed the room to Harry.

"Are you ready?"

Harry jumped to his feet. He was keyed up, anxious to be moving. All this sitting and talking and planning was getting on his nerves. "Yes," he muttered as he headed for the door.


End file.
